My Charming Man
by Evablue
Summary: Sean shattered Emma's heart when he brokeup with her. Months later Sean decides he wants her back but will Emma be able to forgive him? A rewrite of season 3 starting with 'This Charming Man'.
1. Chapter One: Holiday Hangover

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from D:TNG. I'm not pretending to, either. IF I did own them Sean and Emma would never have broken up. And Sean might be shirtless more often.   
Author's Note: I think this is the most fluffy fan fiction I have ever written. Not to say it is all fluff (or really even that fluffy), but just that it isn't as angsty as most of what I have written before. And I'm liking writing something that's a bit more cute than tear jerking.   
Timeline: Sometime between Holiday and This Charming Man.

My Charming Man Chapter One: Holiday Hangover

_I found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
And that reason is you  
Hoobaskank_

The clock clicked away the seconds in the airless room, Emma's clothes sticking to her in ways that should not be possible in zero degree weather. The cold sweat all over her body was making her shiver and causing her to shift in her chair uncomfortably every few minutes.

_Stupid make-up exam_, Emma cursed in her head. The first Friday back from winter break and she was holed up in a classroom after school taking a test on material that seemed like years old. Or, at least, an entire holiday too late.

_Who needs A Christmas Carol, anyway?_

Emma did not need it. All taking the test did was bring up winter break. Which seemed like one endless bad day, one more night following another of laying down in bed and wondering, "Is this really my life now?"

_He's going to die_, Emma thought without wanting to. That thought was haunting her. Following her from one minute to the next.

Her eyes wandered around the room and fell on Sean, the only other student within the walls, his face looking at the paper in front of him with a mixture of concentration and confusion.

It was rather ironic, and cruel on the part of fate, that Sean would have missed the same exact test she had. Alone in the classroom with no one else but Mrs. Kwan seemed to be leaving a strange twinge in the air. That bond, seldom acknowledged and most often ignored, still existed between them whether Emma liked it or not. It ignited the entire room with a burning fire of 'might have been' that was something wholly alive on its own.

Suddenly his eyes turned upwards from his paper and caught her gaze, causing her to jump and turn away quickly. It was a few more long, drawn out moments before she felt the tell-tale feel of eyes on her disappear.

Emma mentally shook herself and tried to concentrate on the test but the words seemed to be blurring slightly in front of her. In 'A Christmas Carol, what happens on Christmas morning?

Suddenly, a stirring of memories created over a lifetime.

_The smell of pancakes, over-easy eggs and toast spreading through the house. The sound of her mother's twinkling voice telling her to, "Wake-up, honey! Its Christmas!" The way that the wrapping paper would crinkling as it was torn off of the presents. Her mother's face lighting up when she would open up her gift._

Then, a stirring of shadows found this year.

_The taste of despair, heavy and heady disease permeating through her room.   
Her mother's voice, shrill and anxiety laden echoing through the house. "Emma! Go see Jack! Snake's having..."_

Her mother didn't need to finish. She knew. There was the sound of gagging and coughing, the sounds of a chemo patient fighting for his life but slowly killing himself none the less. And the innocent and oblivious crying of a baby boy a few room's down.

Emma yanked the covers off, thinking as her feet touched the ground how the floor had never seemed so cold on her soles on any other Christmas morning. How the snow outside her window seemed to tie her further inside someplace she wanted to escape instead of providing an enchanting backdrop.

She winced as she entered the hallway, the noises from her parents' bathroom becoming louder and more obtrusive. Quickly she moved to her brother's room and picked the crying baby up, crooning softly as she did.

With a wistful sigh she thought of how she had wanted Christmas to be at the beginning of the year. A unit. A solid, unbreakable unit. Quietly, she mourned the family she had never quite gotten in the first place.

Emma snapped back to the present, forcing her mind to focus on the multiple choice exam. She moved quickly through the questions, not allowing her mind to think about anything but Dickens and his Christmas centered novel.

Willing herself not to think about anything else.

_He's going to die_, the thought came slamming through her mind with force. Emma shut her eyes, breathing deeply as her hand curled around her pencil. Her mind froze out everything until she heard the snapping sound of wood and the coarse feel of broken shards within her palm.

"Is everything okay?" Mrs. Kwan asked, coming around her desk and looking at her quizzically.

Emma felt Sean's eyes on her again but ignored him, instead smiling halfheartedly at Mrs. Kwan. "I'm fine, Mrs. Kwan."

She reached down and pulled out another pencil from her bag, nodding her head in affirmation to herself as Mrs. Kwan walked back to her desk. _I'm fine_.

Resolutely, she looked down at the exam as though it were an army and she was an avenging warrior. _I can do this_, she thought. _I can_.

With determination Emma worked quickly through the rest of the questions, falling back on old abilities to focus and concentrate on tasks. When any thought fell into her mind, unbidden, she pushed it aside. By ignoring Sean, the classroom and her own scattered mind she was able to complete the rest of the test quickly.

When she finished circling the answer to the last question she slammed the pencil down and stood up, seeing Sean jump out of the corner of her eye. She didn't care. She just needed to leave. She felt something beginning to roll over her. Something that seemed achingly close to a possible break down and Emma Nelson could not afford one of those.

Not at school in front of Mrs. Kwan. In front of Sean.

Picking her backpack up and swinging it over her shoulders she scurried to the front of the room, Sean's eyes burning into her.

"Done, Emma?" Mrs. Kwan asked, smiling.

"Yes, Mrs. Kwan," Emma nodded, her eyes shifting to the door as she handed the exam to Mrs. Kwan.

"I trust it wasn't too difficult?"

"Um, no. It wasn't. Difficult." Emma's chest was feeling heavy. "I have to go. I'll see you...Monday."

Mrs. Kwan's face washed over with concern. "Are you sure you're okay, Emma?"

"I'm fine!" Emma said loudly, causing Mrs. Kwan to flinch back in surprise. Emma's cheeks flushed as she breathed deeply and reigned in her control. "Perfectly. Long week. Stress. I got to go."

Without waiting for a response Emma ran through the door and out into the corridor, closing the door behind her with a resounding thud.

X

Sean watched the doorway for a few seconds after Emma had walked through it, his mind still caught on her retreating form. He turned his attention back to the test and continued to work even as his mind spun in a different direction.

_"I'm fine."_

His heart was cracking for her. She wasn't fine. She was suffocating underneath everything. Her parents, school. The inescapable feel of impending death.

_And you're the asshole that gave her one more thing to deal with_, an angry voice in his head shouted at him. Sean silently agreed.

_How had it all become so damaged?_

Sean had known Emma since the seventh grade when she hadn't blinked when it came to walking up to him and Jimmy Brooks in the middle of a soon-to-be fight. She had bravely asked him to dance, only a brief flash of uncertainty passing over her features.

He was pretty sure he had fallen hard for her the moment she had come into their English class that same year holding up the ridiculously large pants she was had no choice to wear by their waistband. JT and Toby had thrown jokes her way but she had refused to back down. Instead she had stuck her chin in the air and announced, "I just got my period for the first time," to the entire English class.

And that had been that. Slam, one moment. Two heartbeats.

And then the flourish of a deep and unexpected emotion.

When he had finally kissed her at her mother's wedding, nearly half a year later,   
it had merely served to intensify and strengthen the feeling in his heart. From that kiss on, he was willingly hers.

Scanning over the questions a part of his head ran on autopilot, eliminating and circling answers easily and efficiently whether or not he actually knew the correct answer. Another part of him found himself drifting back to lazy afternoons spent at her house over the summer, her form sitting ever so tantalizingly close on the couch.

_He could see the sly grin she would shoot him as she would scoot closer, cocking her head to the side in a come hither manner. His Emma, it turned out, was a bit of a flirt. And he could proudly say he was probably the only one who knew how much of a flirt she truly was._

"This movie is so boring."

"Really?" Sean raised his eye brow.

Emma signed dramatically. "Yeah. I can barely keep my eyes open."

Sean brought one hand up to the side of her face to tuck a stray blond strand back behind her ear. "Oh, yeah. Well, maybe I can help."

Emma smiled, her hand bunching up the corner of his shirt and pulling him so that his face was inches from her own. "Maybe you can."

"Maybe," he mumbled against her lips before kissing her deeply.

Emma sighed into his mouth, her hand moving from his shirt to the side of his stomach. Her other hand came up from her lap to wrap around his neck, giving her access to the soft hairs on the back of his neck.

Sean slowly maneuvered her backward till they laid stretched out on the couch, his weight supported by one of his arms as he kissed her. The movie played on in the background unnoticed.

Passion had come naturally to the two of them as soon as they had truly begun dating, that one kiss sparking a fire that was both innocent and surprisingly dangerous. Emma, ever cautious and thinking one step ahead, was always the one to pull back or stop with a soft rebuke.

He used to smile at the way she would look after a heated make-out session with him. Her hair would be tangled and strewn all over the place, causing her to pat it down every few minutes. Her lips would be softly but noticeably swollen, the lower lip jutting out in a way that made him want to start all over again. Her clothing, usually so neat and composed, would be wrinkled and worn looking.

And her eyes, those chocolate brown orbs, would twinkle with mischief, desire and love.

He missed that. _His_ mess. His beautiful, charming and lovely mess.

Sean missed a lot of things about Emma Nelson. Lately he had been making a mental list every time he saw her. Every little remembrance he had about her seemed to be filed under a sticky-note in his brain that read, "Reasons You Miss Emma."

When he had passed her in between third and fourth the Tuesday before vacation, he had come up with the first: The way her hair smelled like strawberries tossed in sugar.

That very afternoon he had been sitting with Jay after school and had seen her smiling with JT about something. There had come number two: Her ability to laugh so easily, so freely.

And after that, each time he saw her, he went through every part of her that he missed. And added something new. Whether it was when he saw her from afar in the hallway. Or flirting with that jackass Chris Sharpe in English.

And, today, he had added another. Number fifty-four: Every single thing.

Sean figured he must be a bit of a masochist because it literally hurt to think about her with all that lay between them now and yet she was every other thought.

He had an image of her trapped in his mind, one that filtered up between all the jumbled thoughts of her. The one had had created on a sunny Wednesday morning where her eyes had danced with hope as she approached him. In the image her eyes bled a kind of gnawing hurt that was only brought forth by true betrayal. Lips, usually curved in a smile, quivered just the slightest. He could nearly feel the emotions swirling within her yet there was no yelling or screaming. Just a quiet acquiesce to the situation, her back ramrod straight as she walked away.

A picture of goodbye.

It had haunted him, that final look she had given him before turning and walking away. Not for the first time he wondered if he had wanted her to shout at him and call him terrible things, names that he undoubtedly deserved. Maybe a, "big, stupid loser." If only she had given him real reasons to hate her and to turn his back on her.

Sean shook himself out of his trance, surprised to see only a few minutes had passed when he glanced at the clock and that only a small portion of the test remained.

_I need to find Emma before she leaves_, Sean suddenly thought desperately.

There. His fate was decided and his path was chosen. There was no turning back now.

Sean Cameron was going to make Emma Nelson fall back in love with him. What else was there to do? He had never really found the strength to fall out of love with her.

X

The bathroom door slammed behind Emma, making a strange echo off the empty hallway. Degrassi always seemed different after school with all the students cleared out and most of the teachers gone. Almost like a ghost ship with everything in place where it had been left, waiting for the inhabitants to spring it back to life and return.

Even the floor sounded different when you were by yourself and not in a crowded hallway. Her sneakers made a strange and eerie smacking sound against the linoleum floors, a sound she had been unable to hear in the shuffle of the busy hallway between classes.

It all made Emma feel more alone.

Emma turned the corner and found herself at her locker. Barely having to think she entered the combination, opening it with a click before swinging her locker open. Emma went to grab the books she needed but stopped and stared, thinking that the books were stuffed inside at weird angles. Haphazardly and without care. It felt strange, like she was looking at her locker for the first time in months. Or at someone else's locker. When had it become so disorganized? It was usually well kept, everything neatly arranged and in place.

Muttering to herself about spring cleaning Emma yanked out her physics book only to have another book tumble out and smack her in the foot. Yelping and saying a curse she had not even been aware that she knew until a couple of months ago, she cradled her injured foot in her hand and balanced on one leg while the sting went away. When the pain subsided she picked up the book and snorted in annoyance that it was one she would not need and tossed it into the bottom half of her locker.

"Emma! Hey," Emma heard from behind her. "I was hoping I'd catch you."

Emma stiffened, hoping she had hallucinated _that_ voice. She turned around and almost shuddered as her eyes took in the broad shoulders and the lightly colored eyes. She nearly smiled then reminded herself of everything Sean Cameron embodied for her.

Heartbreak. _IMissYouSoMuch._

Sadness. _I'mNotSureWhatI'veDoneWrong._

Crying curled up next to the uncomforting smell of linty bed covers.

Her eyes shut down all emotion as she steeled herself. "Sean."

He seemed to nearly flinch at her tone but persisted. "How are you?"

Her eyes narrowed as she turned back to her locker, shuffling books around in an attempt to seem uninterested that Sean was approaching her as though nothing had ever happened. As thought he had not shattered her heart into so many little pieces that it would never be put back together properly.

"Fine." _Why do you care?_

Sean nearly smiled. "So I heard." Emma didn't respond. "Well, that's...that's good. That you're fine."

"Yeah," Emma said.

The silence nearly hummed with tension.

Sean shuffled his feet, the bottoms of his shoes making a squeaking noise that Emma thought sounded like a cat dying. "So, how are things going with Chris?"

Emma looked at him in surprise. "How did you..."

"I saw you guys talking and you just seemed..." Sean shrugged as he looked for the right word, "interested."

"I wouldn't know." Emma pursed her lips, turning back to her locker. " Ask his girlfriend."

"Oh." Sean had a note to his voice that, once upon a time, Emma would have been sure displayed relief. "I didn't know he had a girlfriend."

"Neither did I. How's Amy?"

"I don't know. Ask her."

Emma sighed, letting the book currently in her hand drop to the ground with a resounding thud as she turned back around. "Was there something you wanted, Sean?"

Sean looked at his feet. "Just to talk. You know."

"No, I don't know. And frankly, I'm don't have the time for lost causes. I'm too busy being an 'environmental crusader, a babysitter, a nurse'." Emma winced inwardly. Wrong choice of words. Remembering only shows you care.

Sean inhaled sharply, his blue eyes becoming dark pools that came up to meet head on with her icy ones. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Tell me something I don't know."

_Okay_, Sean thought. "I-I don't want to be who I've been anymore, Em. I wanna be someone else. Someone I used to be when I was you."

Emma laughed, unmoved "Did you hear that line in a movie? Cause it sucks and is about as lame as you are."

"Its not a line! Its...how I feel."

"Well, sorry to disappoint you Sean, but I don't have time to be your conscious. Maybe its time you got one of you own."

"Why do you always have to..." Sean started but stopped himself. _Don't lash out, Cameron._

Sean bit back the urge to run. _You knew this wouldn't be easy_, a voice inside said. He looked at Emma and saw the girl he had loved, did love and would probably always love. _She's worth it._

With that thought Sean Cameron, for the first time since he could remember, didn't lash out in anger or run away when confronted with a difficult situation. Instead, he humbled himself. "I should have said this before. What I did, how I treated you, it sucked. It was wrong. And stupid. I was a stupid jerk. Maybe even a little bit...pathetic. I'm sorry, Emma."

Emma´s eyes narrowed.

_I'm sorry_. How long had she wanted those two small, insignificant words to come out of his mouth? Two months, three weeks and five days. Only, it felt like it was two months, three weeks and two days too late.

"What exactly are you sorry for, again? I´m having a hard time keeping track. Dumping me? Being insensitive? Acting like a jerk for the last few months?"

Sean's eyes darted around. "Everything. I'm sorry."

"Good. That's good," Emma smiled coldly, the look she gave chilling him. "_All fixed_. You're forgiven."

"Emma, I really am sorry." His voice became soft in a way she hadn't heard in months. "More sorry than you could know."

Her walls started to crumbling but then an old memory came to the surface.

_A hallway. Anxious eyes peering into her. "I'm sorry. I should have listened to you."_

_Regret. Disappointment. A thousand emotions tumbling through her. "Yeah. I'm sorry, too."_

_He's always sorry_, Emma thought vengefully as something snapped within her.

"Well, you know that's nice. That you're sorry." Emma smiled humorlessly, uncharacteristic black anger surging into her. "And I'm sorry, too." She turned back to her locker and began angrily shifting the books around, the locker shuddering at the completion of her every sentence. "I'm sorry I ever went on a date with you. Or that I kissed you. And got back together with you. I'm sorry I ever met you."

"You're angry..." Sean began but Emma wasn't done yet.

"I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you, you know? That I just had too much for you to deal with. Biological father that is a mental person, a new baby brother, a stepfather with cancer." Emma's voice dipped to a quiet whisper. " I'm so sorry it was easier to just be Emma Nelson, environmental crusader than it was to be Emma Nelson, person."

Behind her Sean's feet shuffled and she heard him breath in deeply, taken aback by Emma's outburst. "Emma..."

Emma reached down and picked up the book at her feet, swinging around and throwing it with force against the parallel lockers. "I'M SORRY!"

Sean jumped back in surprise.

Then Emma´s face broke free of the anger, sinking despair falling across her features as she crumpled to the ground with a defeating shrug. Her knees came up to cradle her head as she sobbed. Somewhere distantly she heard a comforting hushing sound, the voice of someone whispering it was okay. She had forgotten about Sean's presence until she felt cool, soft hands fall on her back and start rubbing small circles.

"Go away," she muttered halfheartedly.

"Not a chance," she heard Sean whisper back as he drew her against him.

Her body was stiff in his arms for a moment before slumping against him tiredly as she began to sob with all the force of months of pent up pain, anger, and helplessness.

"I'm so scared," she said hoarsely as her body shuddered.

"Why?"

"What if he dies? What are we going to do? I just got a family and now it is all falling apart."

Sean rubbed her arm comfortingly, allowing her to pour out her long subdued heartache and fears.

They stayed like that, Emma muttering nearly incoherently and Sean soothing her with light caresses and gentle kisses on the top of the head. While Emma released everything inside of her Sean made sure she had a protective cocoon to do it in.

"So stupid," Emma mumbled as her tears began to subside, rubbing one of her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater like a grumpy three year old might. "So, so stupid."

Sean reached out and gently wiped the other cheek with his finger. "Not stupid. Human."

"I was so angry when my mom started dating Mr. Simpson. She was mine and I felt like I was losing her. Now, I just don't want to lose him."

One of Sean's hands came up to fall on her cheek gently as Emma's eyes grew wide. The tip of his thumb softly moved over her skin while the rest of his fingers loosely gripped the pieces of blond hair that fell against her cheek. He moved forward, his eyes beginning to close

"Sean," Emma said as her body stiffened. She pulled away, putting space between them. "No."

Sean's eyes snapped open and he pulled backward as if slapped. His hand fell limply away from her cheek and hurt washed over his features.

Emma stood up, her legs still weak and heavy from emotion. She shook her head, looking down at him with distrust. "No. I'm not doing this again."

Sean stood up. "I know I messed up, okay."

"Messed up? Messed up! Gee, you think? What you said to me once is finally starting to sink it. It was _always be this way_. You screwing up and me being expected to just forgive and forget." Emma wiped her face free of the remaining tears as resolve spread over her features. "No. _No_."

Sean watched as Emma picked up her book strewn across the way before scrambling to his feet.

"Emma!"

Emma walked back over to him but didn't look at him. Instead she reached down and picked up her backpack that was laying close to Sean's feet. When she straightened back up she shot Sean a black look before turning around and beginning to walk away from him.

Sean ran after her and grabbed her arm lightly but she tugged away and didn't slow down. "Please. Emma!"

Sean struggled to keep up with her, never before realizing how quick and nibble Emma could be when she was fired up. Finally, when they came to the doors leading outside, Emma turned and stared at him for a second.

"Emma, there has to be something I can do. Name something. Let me fix this."

Emma looked at him in confusion. "Something you can do?"

"Yeah. Please. _Anything_." Sean looked at her with hope.

Emma swung open the door and rays of sunlight spread over her face, making it appear softer than it was at the moment. Emma stared out at the street before turning to look at Sean.

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Okay. Stay away from me." Emma walked through the door and let it slam shut behind her.

As the sound of the door echoed through the hallway, Sean closed his eyes.

A/N: This is the start of my 'D:TNG" season three rewrite which will start with 'This Charming Man'. I plan on posting a new chapter every weekend following the airing of a new episode. The new chapter should be up by Monday night or Tuesday morning.

Also, I'm looking for a beta reader to help with my Degrassi fan fiction. Let me know if you are interested. But those whose e-mails will look like this: I want 2 B ur beta reeder... need not apply. :)


	2. Chapter Two: The Man and His Charm Part ...

Timeline: This Charming Man, rewritten to my liking. And YES, I know things don't gel with the actual episodes. But, it isn't supposed to either. I simply kept the generally idea of things but this is most definitely 'This Charming Man' fanwanked.   
A/N: Yeah, this ended up kind of long which accounts for the delay. Going back and editing was a bitch. Anyway, it is in two parts because it ended up being so long. So, technically there are two chapters. It is still pretty much the fluffiest story I´ve written in my life (Misadventures in Port Charles doesn´t count!).  
Feedback: Thank you for all of the reviews. The feedback was great and I really, really appreciate it. If you leave your e-mail I try to respond to you personally to thank you. So, leave your e-mail. To those that didn't last chapter -molly and gfsg - thanks for the feedback. :)

My Charming Man Chapter Two: The Man And His Charm Part One

_  
Past lives I've lived   
Uncontrolled but sacred   
You've finally seen   
all that's left of me   
So hard to feel   
So hard to breathe   
Will you forgive me?   
Godsmack_

Emma sighed, hating the feel of the Media Immersion room without Snake.

Everything looked the same, with the very posters and decorations Snake had lined the walls with earlier that year still in the places he had put them. The chair she sat on was still stiff and left her entire lower half numb after fifteen minutes, much like it had the first day of class. The same students filled the classroom, most sitting in the same spot they had been in since the start of the school year. And the keyboard in front of her still had the brown stain on the corner of it that she had noticed during the second week of classes.

Down to the last detail the room appeared exactly as it should.

But everything still felt different. Wrong, even. The room was still as full as ever, with people she had known for what seemed like too long bustling around with laughter and gossip. Unaware that anything was gone. That the room was really very, very empty.

Emma was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't notice that Sean had slid into the seat beside her until he spoke. "Hey."

Emma jumped, turning slowly to the work space beside her. It took a moment for the confusion to wear away but when it did her eyes turned stormy. "Sean." Emma turned back to her blank monitor. "Go away."

Sean pretended like he did not hear her. "So, did you do that homework assignment for Kwan last night?"

Emma did not respond. She turned on the computer and kept her gaze on the screen with what appeared to be avid interest even though it was still starting up.

"I actually did mine last night. I figured I might want to start doing that if I want to pass for the year."

When the computer had fully loaded Emma brought up her e-mail account and opened a new message, typing in JT's e-mail address. Sean continued to talk to her as she tried to put her concentration into typing the e-mail.

"I'm not exactly sure thought if I understood everything in the reading. It was pretty deep, you know?

Emma hammered away at the keyboard, trying to drown his voice out.

"I'm sure you understood it, though. I mean, you're smart."

_I´m writing an e-mail_, Emma told herself. _Sean does not exist_.

"I just hope Mrs. Kwan doesn't give us a pop quiz. That would suck." Sean sighed as Emma continued to tap away at the keyboard, her eyes focused on the monitor.. "Emma, would you please talk to me."

Emma stopped typing, reading over her e-mail to herself. Her eyes went wide as she read what she had written.

_Hey JT!_

What are you talking? I'm okay, although I'm not understood everything. But you're smart about pop quizzes. Sean ,stop talking!!

Emma turned back to Sean and felt like slapping him. "Sean, shut up!"

Sean smiled. "Why? Having a hard time writing a love note or something?'

"Is there something I can help you two with?" A voice said from behind them.

The two turned around to find the disapproving face of Mr. Mitchell, the substitute. Mr. Mitchell was a fifty year old man with a bad tope and a crooked, greasy smile. But Emma couldn´t say she had a specific reason to dislike Mr. Mitchell aside from the fact that he was filling in Snake´s place while he lay at home trying to hold down his breakfast. After all, that was not Mr. Mitchell´s fault.   
Emma shot Sean a quick look of annoyance before smiling sheepishly at Mr. Mitchell. "No, Mr. Mitchell."

"Good. Then you two should begin your assignment."

When Mr. Mitchell had retreated and returned to behind his desk, Sean leaned in and whispered into Emma's ear. "What a jerk."

Emma closed her eyes and counted to ten. When she thought she could talk again without screaming she opened them again to peer at Sean with splintering heat radiating from her brown eyes. In a carefully measured voice Emma snapped, "Sean, leave me alone!"

Sean's face lost its deceptively cheerful facade, dipping into an underlying agony. "Emma, I'm sorry, okay. Hell, do you want me to write it down for you. Maybe make the 'O' into a happy face. Cause I will."

" 'I´m sorry'." Emma said the words as though they were cursed, even as she continued to tap away at the keys of her computer. "I'm hearing that a lot from you. In fact, I'm sure there is not a phrase in the world that you've said to me more during the course of us knowing each other than 'I'm sorry'. And you know what, I still don't buy it." Emma stopped pretending to type and turned to Sean.

Sean groaned. "You know, you can be a real hard ass when you want to be."

" Right. Cause insulting me is really going to help your case." Emma shook her head, making an incredulous sound. "If you're really sorry why don't you try to act like it by _not_ getting me in trouble with the teacher."

For the rest of the class Sean did not say anything to Emma, which caused her to worry. If he wasn't talking to her did that mean he could only possibly be thinking of more ways to beg her forgiveness? At this rate, Emma would be a raving lunatic within a week.

xXx

Sean sighed as he listened to Mr. Mitchell give him a lecture on him not handing in assignments on time. The classroom was empty, save for himself and the substitute. The rest of the students had shuffled out of the classroom the second the bell signally the end of the period had rung.

Sean listened as Mr. Mitchell went on and on about responsibility, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. When Mr. Mitchell finally stopped to take a breath, Sean jumped in. "Now, can I go?"

Mr. Mitchell muttered something about unresponsive youths before waving a dismissive hand at Sean. Sean didn't waste anytime as he cut out of the room and towards Emma's locker.

Sean's fevered movements came to a halt as he caught view of Emma standing next to her open locker talking to Chris. Sean clenched his jaw, hating the way Emma seemed to be enjoying the attention Chris was giving her.

_Didn't Emma say he had a girlfriend?_, Sean thought in annoyance.

Sean watched from a far as Emma talked to Chris, her face lighting up with a flirtatious smile. A beautiful, _enticing_ smile. Before he knew what he was doing his feet were moving in their direction and he found himself in front of them, a heavyset frown marring his smooth face.

"Emma," Sean said in a strangled voice.

Emma's gaze turned to him with a look that would have burned holes through steel. "_Sean_."

Chris looked between the two in confusion, backing away a step. "Oh, hey, I didn't know you two were back together."

Sean smirked, not looking away from Emma even if she was shooting daggers at him with her eyes. "Hello Chris."

Emma turned her glare away from Sean, letting it melt into a softer expression as she looked at Chris. "We're not! He's just stalking me. Ignore him." Emma smiled again at Chris. "You were saying..."

"I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to go out this weekend," Chris said, glancing at Sean uncomfortably.

"That sounds-"

Sean cut in bitingly, "Don't you have a girlfriend, _Chris_?"

Emma turned back to Sean with fire in her eyes. "Not. Any. More."

"Oh, so he's on the rebound. Shouldn't you wait a couple of weeks for him to get over her."

Emma made a soft clucking noise with her tongue. "Some guys don't need much breathing space in between girlfriends. In fact, _some_ guys just jump from one to another in a heartbeat."

"Yeah, but usually those same guys regret it."

"Like they even know how to feel regret!" Emma scoffed.

Sean sighed. "You know, Emma, you're not being fair."

"Fair? Oh, wow. Surprise! Sean knows what that word means."

Chris had been standing there watching the two of them go at it without comment but, seeing the searing anger burning between them, he finally decided to get out of the line of fire. "Um, you two obviously have some...unresolved...something," he mumbled, knowing he was basically talking to himself. "I'm going to go."

Emma and Sean didn't notice as Chris carefully walked around them and began to head down the hall.

"Yeah, well, do you know what 'forgiveness' means?"

"I should! I've had to _forgive_ you enough times!"

"Emma, all I'm asking for is a second chance."

"You've had a second chance. And a third! Your second chances have been given second chances. You've had so many chances, I've lost count!" Emma stopped suddenly and looked around in confusion. "Where's Chris?"

"Oh, no, did he leave?" Sean's mouth twitched deceptively.

Emma looked at Sean in disbelief. "If you are trying to make my life suck, you're succeeding!"

Sean growled in frustration. "I'm trying to fix things!"

"And, big surprise! As always, you're simply making things worse."

Emma slammed her locker shut and walked away.

xXx

As Sean entered math class he walked right past his ex-girlfriend Amy, who was throwing him a sulky look mixed with a glare, and headed towards the vacant seat next to Emma. As he was about to slide into the chair Emma slammed a textbook down on the seat, leaving her hand firmly on top of it.

"Its taken," Emma bit out.

Sean rolled his eyes. "By who, the invisible man?"

"No," a voice from behind said. "By me."

Sean turned around and came face to face for the second time that day with Chris Sharpe, resident wannabe DJ and apparently the number one threat to him and Operation: Retrieve Emma. Between the last time Sean had seen Emma and now he had caught the buzz going around the school that Chris and his on-again, off-again girlfriend Melinda were actually off-again, as Emma had informed him earlier. Sean didn't like that at all. That left Chris free to go for Emma and, from the looks of it, that was his intention.

Sean walked up close to him. "Funny. I don't see your name on the desk."

Chris didn't look impressed, no longer seeming willing to back down and leave Sean with Emma. Chris seemed to have a certain knowledge that Emma wanted him to be sitting in that chair next to her. _Did Emma have her last class with him?_ Sean wondered.

"Why don't you head back to your homegirl, Kim Matthers, back there." Chris pointed to Amy before tossing a look Emma´s way. "You're obviously not wanted here."

Sean turned back to Emma, who still had her hand stubbornly on top of the textbook that was filling up what should have been his chair. The look on her face seemed to say, "_What part of stay away from me didn't you understand?_"

Just then Mr. Armstrong walked in, the smile slipping off of his face when he saw Chris and Sean standing head to head looking like they were about to start fighting right in the middle of the classroom. "Is there a problem, gentleman?"

The class became really quiet, all eyes that hadn´t already been focused on them turning to look at the two guys. Emma's face turned pink as JT and Toby shot her questioning looks while she moved the textbook off the seat with a sigh.

_Better a pestering ex-boyfriend than a dead future one_, Emma decided.

Neither Sean or Chris noticed, however, that the chair was empty and the desk free. Instead, they continued to stare each other down.

Mr. Armstrong walked so that he was standing beside the two boys, his arms crossed and his face tight with disapproval. "Sean and Chris, do I need to get Mr. Raditch in here?"

Sean sighed, rolling his eyes as the tension seemed to roll out of his body. "Don't bother."

Sean moved around Chris and the row of desks Emma's was in, heading towards the back where there was the empty seat next to Amy. It wasn't until he was halfway to the empty chair that he saw that Emma was no longer holding the chair hostage with the textbook. Quickly scanning the area he saw it was now safely tucked underneath her chair.

_How long has it been there?_, Sean wondered. With a frustrated groan he plopped into the seat and ignored Amy's mocking look. Instead, he watched as Chris sat down in the seat next to Emma, giving her a small smile. Sean's stomach turned as he watched Emma smile back.

xXx

Emma had just begun drifting off when she heard her name being called.

"Emma, would you like to put the answer to the equation on the book?" Mr. Armstrong asked, holding out a piece of chalk.

Emma nodded, scooting out of her chair and moving to the front of the room. Right as she began writing on the board she heard the distinctive sound of a chair sliding across the floor.

Emma turned around to find that Sean's chair had been pulled over so that it was now _much_ closer to Amy's own. Her hand was on his arm, moving up and down suggestively as she spoke to him. Emma watched Sean shift uncomfortably but he made no move away from Amy.

Emma's face hardened, her eyes becoming cold slits as she somehow became mesmerized by the way Amy's fingers moved up and down his arm. Up and down. Up and down.

"Sean! Amy!" Emma snapped back to attention, turning to see Mr. Armstrong shooting Sean and Amy a reproachful look. "Do you two need some privacy? Are we in your way here?"

Emma turned back to the board and finished writing the answer quickly as Sean moved his chair back to its original spot.

"Thank you, Emma," Mr. Armstrong said to her as she walked by, her attention on Sean and Amy in the back corner. Sean's eyes were pleading with her to understand, tossing in a black look shot Amy's way for emphasis.

As Emma sat back down in her chair, she willed herself not to turn around again.

_I'm not jealous_, Emma swore over again in her head like a mantra. _I'm not jealous_.

For the rest of math class she alternated between fantasies involving pulling Amy's hair out and lists of why she was over Sean and most certainly not jealous.

xXx

When the bell rang, Sean sprang out of his seat and began collecting his books while ignoring Amy's attempt at getting his attention.

_I need to explain to her about Amy_, Sean thought as his mind automatically focused on Emma.

Still, he wasn't quick enough for Emma who had already walked out the door, not even stopping to wait for Chris. Sean went to follow her out but was stopped by Mr. Armstrong.

"Where do you think you're going, Sean?" Mr. Armstrong raised his eye brows in question before turning to Amy and Chris who were both trying to get out the door quickly. "You too, Amy and Chris."

"It won't happen again, Mr. Armstrong." Sean turned to look at Amy meaningfully. "I swear."

"Is that right, Amy?"

Amy sighed, rolling her eyes. "That's right."

"Good. It better not. You can go. " Mr. Armstrong said. All three walked toward the door but were stopped by him voice yet again. "Just Amy."

Amy smirked at Sean before heading toward the door, stopping in the doorway to blow him a mocking kiss.

"Now, Amy," Mr. Armstrong said impatiently.

Amy shrugged and walked off, her hips swinging back and forth.

Mr. Armstrong turned back to Chris and Sean who were both now glaring at each other. "Now, you two..." he began.

For the next three minutes Sean had to listen to a lecture about not settling disputes with violence and how to learn to work through differences. Just when Sean thought he was done, Mr. Armstrong seemed to begin all over again.

Mr. Armstrong reached up a hand and rubbed his eyes wearily as students for the next class began to filter in. "Why do I think I'm wasting my breath on you two. Go. Just go."

Sean didn't need to be told twice, nearly running out the door ahead of Chris. But the hallway was now nearly empty of students and it appeared Emma was long gone. Sean glanced over at Chris who sighed with disappointment before heading down the hall in the opposite direction Sean was heading in.

_At least he missed her too_, Sean thought with a small smile as he walked to his class.

xXx

"Nelson! Nelson!"

Emma rubbed her temples, wishing that for once in her life a black hole would open up and swallow her. Just for the day. Was that too much to ask? For the last few minutes Jay had been doing whatever he could do to get her attention, including hitting her in the back of the head with balled up pieces of notebook paper. It figured that it would be during the one class where the teacher couldn't even pretend to give a damn.

Emma turned around in her chair so that she could look at Jay, who sat at a horizontal angle to her. "_What_? Some of us would actually like to pass 9th grade history the first time around."

Jay sneered. "Funny. So, how'd you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Turn Sean into a Boy Scout."

"I didn't do it." Emma then mumbled to herself, " I think he fell and hit his head."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Whatever. All I know is for the entire day Sean's been following you around like a puppy dog. I heard he even went to bat for you against that loser, Chris Sharpe. And all weekend long Sean was acting like a tight ass. Kinda like you. Are you seein' what I'm saying?"

"That Sean didn't want to be a drunk, loser clepto this weekend. Sorry I killed your idea of fun. Did you not steal enough this weekend?"

"I wouldn't say that,' Jay said, a wicked gleam flashing in his eyes. As a devious smile spread across his face Emma started to get a sinking feeling in her stomach. "I think I've filled up on my quota for the year. Stealing a laptop right from a teacher´s own desk is kinda the best you can get."

Emma's eyes went wide with disbelief. "W-What?"

Jay just continued to smile arrogantly and went back to drawing dark, black circles on his notebook, leaving Emma to stare off into space.

With each second that passed, Emma wrapped another little piece of anger around her heart to conceal the gut wrenching hurt.

xXx

Sean looked around the cafeteria, spotting Jay and the rest of them in one corner. Jay waved him over but instead but Sean pretended he didn't see them and turned his head in the other direction. In the opposite corner Sean saw Emma's form sitting down with JT and Toby at an otherwise empty table.

Sean watched her for a second, taking in the dejected bow of her shoulders and the way she was merely playing with her food. Sean closed his eyes and reminded himself that he had dug his own hole and now he had to crawl his way out.

Without another thought Sean made his way over to her, sliding in across from her with a boyish smile as though it wasn't unusual for him to be sitting at the same table as her during lunch.

JT and Toby looked at him, then looked at each other before taking one last glance at Emma who was doing a remarkable job of ignoring Sean completely. They stood up, grabbing their trays and throwing Sean smiles somewhere between sympathetic and pitying.

"Bye, Emma. Sean," JT mumbled as him and Toby sprinted away.

Sean frowned but then shrugged. _Whatever_, he decided. _Trying to figure those two out is like trying to figure out one of Armstrong's stupid equations_.

He picked up his carton of chocolate milk, opening it up and taking a drink before speaking. "Hey Emma."

Emma didn't look up or acknowledge his presence.

"Look, I'm sorry about math class." Emma laughed when he said he was sorry but didn't look up. "Really. That wasn't me, okay. I didn't initiate anything. Amy was...I don't know. That's just how she is. I didn't think about it, I guess. Would you just look at me!"

Emma's face shot up from her tray of food, her eyes a cloudy haze of anger.

Sean flinched, placing the carton still in his hand back onto his tray. "Okay, so, um, obviously you're upset. That's cool."

Emma looked like she was counting to ten in her head, her fingers tapping rhythmically on the table surface. "Did you steal Snake's computer?"

Sean inhaled a sharp breath, his mouth going dry. Emma looked at him expectantly, no mercy visible anywhere on her face. Sean decided it was time to face up to the worst of his sins against her. "Yes." Simple and direct. No turning back. "I was going to tell you-"

Emma cringed, her eyes washing over with disbelief and hurt. "Why?"

Sean felt anger at himself come up as he found took in Emma´s pained gaze. An angry Emma was ten times easier to deal with than a wounded one. "I-I wanted to get back at you."

"Get back at _me_?" Emma pushed her tray to the side, placing her palms flat against the table in front of her. "What on earth did _I_ ever do to _you_?"

"Nothing. I just felt like...I was angry and I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry."

"I'm hearing that a lot. I wonder, do you ever get tired of saying it?"

"No. Because I mean it. I want you to understand. And if that means saying it a hundred more times I will."

Emma stood up, seeming to not hear him. Washed away was every single trace of hurt, swallowed up by a carefully cultivated rage. She looked around in agitation, her body now tense and full of pent up anger. Her eyes caught his carton of chocolate milk, barely touched. Emma picked it up and before Sean could blink he found himself doused in the sticky, brown liquid.

Sean jumped up, knocking his chair backwards. The lunch room fell silent as the chair smacked against the ground loudly. All eyes bared into them and soft whispers began to swirl around them. The student body was always hungry for scandal and gossip. Emma and Sean had just handed them a free peep show.

At a lunch table not too far away, JT and Toby were glad they had possessed the presence of mind to get out of there when they could. "Told you it was going to turn into World War Three," JT said loudly, the words bouncing out from underneath the whispers.

Emma seemed not to notice the crowd around the two of them that was looking on in interest. Instead she kept her smoldering gaze locked on Sean as he stared at her in disbelief. Crumpling up the carton of milk in her hand she flung it at him and watched as it bounced off his chest and onto the floor.

Sean didn't move, he simply stood there with milk dripping off of his clothes and onto the floor.

Finally, after a long minute, Emma moved forward a step and leaned across the table so that her quiet and heated voice could reach his ears.

"I'm going to say this one more time. Stay away from me."

And, for the second time in one day, Emma Nelson walked away from him.

The crowd that was gathered around them in the cafeteria cleared a path, the whispering becoming louder as she moved through them and then stormed out the door.

Sean stood there and watched her retreating form.

xXx

Emma worked quickly to get her books for her next class, trying to avoid the questioning gaze of her gossip hungry peers that seemed to be circling around her like vultures.

"Emma!"

Emma closed her eyes, nearly not resisting the urge to bang her head against a locker. There was no possible way that Sean was making his way down the hall, calling her name. No way at all.

"Emma!" A breathless voice said beside her.

Emma reminded herself that murder was against the law before looking at him. There, still soaking wet in spots and bearing brown stains on his white shirt, was Sean Cameron. Looking determined. Relentless. And unbelievable cute with his rumpled hair devoid of the usual hat

_Cute? No, Sean was not cute. Sean and cute cannot go together. Ever. Again_, Emma thought.

Sean smiled, making Emma's stomach unwittingly flutter.

Then, just like that, Emma growled.

Sean jumped back, looking at her strangely. "Emma, are you sure you ate enough?"

"I'm about to have some weird, spastic violent outburst in about five seconds if you don't go." With each word Emma had gotten closer and closer to Sean, maneuvering him until he was backed up against the lockers. "Now!"

Sean barely even blinked. "Em, I hate to break this to you but you're not really the intimidating type. More like the bark without the bite."

Emma threw her hands up, groaning. "I give up! I completely give up!" She looked at the ceiling of the school as though maybe God could give her a solution. "How do I make him go away? Do I have to light him on fire?"

Sean's eyes went wide as Emma continued to babble neurotically in a way that was solely Emma.

"Maybe I could beat him over the head with a book until he remembers he's Sean Cameron and I HATE HIM! Since he likes to follow me around I could see if I could lead him into a closet and then lock him inside." Emma looked at Sean with a very serious gleam in her eyes. " Or, I could go tell Mr. Raditch that Sean's the one who took Snake's laptop."

Sean's eyes went wide with that last sentence. Emma stared at him, all whimsy gone from her expression. "Wait, what? No. No, Emma. You can't do that. You know I'm on probation. Tracker would kill me!"

"What makes you think _I_ won't kill you," Emma snapped, before rolling her eyes. "I contemplate lighting you on fire, you don't blink. But I say I'm going to rat you out to Raditch and suddenly you're a big, scared baby." Emma rolled her eyes again before pushing Sean aside to slam her locker shut. "I don't even have the energy to deal with you anymore. Instead, I'm going to class. And I might even do a strange little dance to celebrate the fact that it is one of the classes you are not in."

"Well, I'll walk you," Sean said.

Emma looked at him in disbelief. "You don't get it, do you? I won't forgive you because I don't _want_ to forgive you. I just want you gone and out of my life, okay? Is that too much for you to get? Now, leave me alone or I won't be heading to class. I'll be heading to Mr. Raditch's office."

Sean thought about his next words very carefully, not wanting to send her in the direction of the principle's office. "Emma, I'm sorry for taking his laptop. It was a really sucky thing to do. I wasn't thinking. I'm really, really sorry."

"Yeah?" Emma gave Sean a once over. "_Prove it_."

As Emma walked away from Sean, again, he made no move to stop her.

xXx

Emma watched the students walking around outside, looks of contentment and satisfaction that school was over for the day. She wished she could feel that way, light and free. As though the world were hers.

A shadow fell across Emma, causing her to sigh. Shadows were always falling across her. "Look, Sean---"

"Its not Sean," Chris said, stepping out from behind Emma to stand in front of where she was sitting. "Hey."

Emma smiled, half in relief that it was Chris and half in an attempt to hide her conflicting disappointment that it wasn't Sean. "Hey, Chris!"

"So, watch are doin' out here? All alone with no one to sit next to you..."

Emma scooted over, grinning. "I'm not alone anymore."

Chris sat down next to her, closing his eyes for a second as he held his face up to the rays of the sun. "The sun is nice."

"Yeah."

He opened his eyes to peer at Emma again. "Listen, are you and Sean---"

"We're over. We have been for months. Trust me."

"Okay. Well, then, I was wondering if you'd like to get a milkshake with me at the Dot?"

"You mean like..."

"On a date. Yeah."

Emma felt a brief rise of panic. _Sean. No, done with him. Done._

Emma's smiled in determination. "Definitely."

xXx

Emma's mind was somewhere else. Somewhere inside of Emma while her body sat there in the Dot and laughed at the appropriate times with Chris. Said the right, witty things. Smile flirtatiously at the right moments.

_With Sean it wasn't like this_, some part of her whispered. _It was---_

_Yeah, well, tough. Sean stole Snake's computer and actually became a big, stupid loser. I'm completely done with Sean_, she argued back. _For real_.

Yet, Emma could not help that he mind wandered over memories pulled from countless dates with Sean. And it had never been like this, with her running on autopilot. Staying just to prove she could be with Chris and not have to be with Sean.

With Sean, her world had been his. They had nearly lived inside each other when they were together. The other inhabitants of the world would fade and before she knew it they were the only two in a once crowded room or theater. She had hung on his words, savoring them and holding them inside of her heart.

Even when they were not saying anything to each other, it was like they were speaking in their own secret way. Sometimes, it had been so quiet between them that she could have sworn she heard their two hearts beating in synchronicity with each other within the still. Yet, it hadn't felt awkward or stifling. It had felt right to be able to be there with him in that silence. To be able to just be with him.

She didn't want to go there with Chris, to those places of stillness or real conversation. Even if Emma thought it was possible, which was doubtful, she wouldn't want to. Some strange and unyielding part of her heart insisted that those moments belonged to her and Sean alone.

Emma laughed at Chris' joke while her eyes darted to the swinging door. Without thought her smile slipped from her face. Chris looked at her with a frown before turning around and catching sight himself of Jay and his gang of merry followers, minus Sean.

"Do you want to go?" Chris asked kindly.

Emma shook her head, painting on a smile while silently she wondered where Sean was. Then quietly berated herself for caring. "No. They won't ruin this."

Chris smiled. "Cool. So, tell me about your petition?"

"Its..."Emma trailed off as she watched Jay stuff a candy bar into his jacket. Emma´s jaw stiffened as Amy shot her a nasty glare. "Just look at them. They think they can take whatever they want."

Chris sighed. "You sure you don't want to go?"

Emma looked down at her strawberry milkshake, half drunken, and pushed it aside. Suddenly, she had a feeling it would taste sour. "Actually, yeah, I do. Do you mind?"

Chris shrugged, trying to hide his disappointment. "The lady is always right. Let's go."

For the first time that afternoon Emma's smile reached her eyes.

xXx

Emma walked up the sidewalk toward her house with Chris by her side, who was animatedly telling her about his recent spinning at a Rave.

"That sounds cool," Emma said, stopping in front of her house.

"Yup. So," Chris said, smiling, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yup!" Emma tried to remain perky and upbeat.

"Alright." Chris leaned down to kiss Emma on her lips but she turned her head at the last minute. Chris was left with leaving a sloppy kiss on the side of her face. He pulled back, nodding with slight embarrassment before moving to walk off.

"See you," he called over his shoulder.

"Bye." Emma watched his form retreat, kicking a rock in frustration. _Get it together, Emma_.

"So, no kiss on the lips?" she heard from her porch.

Emma shook her head, refusing to turn around. "No. No, no, no."

"You know, even if you close your eyes and count to ten I'll still be here. Promise."

Emma turned toward her porch, finally seeing Sean sitting in front of an open space that used to be her door, the door itself rested against the side of the house. He had some sort of tool in his hand. _Possibly a screwdriver_, Emma thought._The better to stab him with, my dear..._

Emma walked up the pathway, stopping at the stairs. "What are you doing here? Were you spying on me?"

"Yes. And to mask that great feat I decided to take your door off first so you'd be distracted." Sean rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to the hinges and working on them with what Emma had decided was a screwdriver. "Don't flatter yourself. If I'm going to lower myself to watching other people on dates, I'll make sure it´ll be more than just a G-rated show. And a little less comatose inducing."

Emma ignored the jibe at her and Chris. "So, what _are_ you doing?'

Sean kept his eyes focused on the hinges. "Fixing the door."

"Yes, I can see that. Thanks. I mean why are you fixing _my_ door?"

"Really, Emma, for a bright girl you can be slow," Sean said with a small laugh. "I'm fixing your _mother's_ door because it was broken."

Emma didn't say anything to Sean, inside fixating on the word mother. Her mother. Her mother was so dead.

Emma walked past Sean and through the doorway before yelling, "Mom! MOM!"

Spike came racing down the stairs, a look of panic on her face. "What? Is everything okay? Are you okay?" Spike looked her daughter up and down for possible signs of damage before making a quick surveillance of the area. Then, she looked at Emma questioningly. "Emma?"

"Kitchen. Now," Emma ground out through clenched teeth.

Spike's eyes narrowed. "Watch your tone, young lady! I am your mother, I'm not some dog."

Emma took in a shaky breath. "Mom, would you please come to the kitchen with him." Emma's face flushed. "I mean me." She shot Sean a glare, her frown deepening as she caught a flash of his amused smirk. "Now...Please."

Spike nodded and headed toward the kitchen.

"What is Sean doing here?"

"He came over and asked if we needed help around the house. He was willing to lend a hand, Emma. And, let's face it, we need a hand."

"Mom, it's Sean!"

"Yes. A boy you thought enough of to date for nearly a year."

"A boy who I haven't been dating for two months!"

"Emma, he's already here. With Snake being sick and a new baby, we really need whatever help we can get around here."

Emma sighed, knowing her mother was right. "Okay. So, let him fix the stupid door. He isn't doing anything else, is he?"

"I already told him he could take a look at Snake's car."

"Mom! You didn't! With the way that thing putts around it could need months of work."

"Months of work he's willing to do for free!"

"You think. Until you wake up and he's stolen Snake's engine."

"What's that mean?"

Emma suddenly knew she was standing at some kind of precipice, looking down at the jagged ground below. If she told her mother about Snake's computer she might never like Sean again. Or trust him with her. Emma refused to think about why that bothered her so much.

Emma shook her head. "Nothing. I didn't mean anything."

Emma went to her room, then, and didn't come out for the rest of the night. She was afraid that she would find Sean eating dinner with her parents or working on fixing something else in her house. She couldn´t afford to see him more than she had to. Each time she saw him it was like a piece of her resolve was fluttering away and she felt if she wasn't careful, she _would_ forgive him.

xXx

End of Part I, Chapter Two


	3. Chapter Three: The Man and His Charm Par...

The next morning Emma quickly glided through the hallways on the way to her locker, ignoring the stares and whispers, in an attempt to completely cut out the chance of an encounter with Sean. If she could get her books and then head into homeroom, she could sit next to a seat that was already taken.

Emma was jamming books into her bag, barely even looking to make sure they were the right ones, when Sean came up beside her. Emma's shoulders sagged as she stopped shoveling books into her bag. She made a face as she turned to face Sean. "What do you want, Sean?"

Sean grabbed Emma's hand, holding it palm up in his own. Without a word he put a ball of wrinkled money and some loose change into her palm before closing her fingers around it in a fist.

Emma looked at her hand in confusion. "What's this?"

"Ten bucks, fifty-five cents." A sheepish smile tugged at his corners of his mouth. "Its not much but its all I can really give without going hungry for the rest of the week. It won't buy a laptop but I figure if I give you what I can every now and again, you maybe could buy Simpson a nice upgrade thing or whatever for that other laptop your mom got him."

"How do you know about that?"

"Your mom was showing it to me after you went to your room yesterday." Sean's gaze didn't meet Emma's own. "It is, um, nice. Not a nice as the other one, though."

Emma nodded. "I hope you felt super guilty."

"I did," Sean responded before turning and heading in the direction of their homeroom.

"Sean..." Emma began quietly, stopping him. Emma licked her lips, contemplating her words. "What are you doing?"

He looked at her over his shoulder, an enigmatic smile spreading across his face. "What you asked."

Emma frowned. "What I---"

"Proving it."

With that, Sean walked away from Emma with her eyes still burning into him. As he turned the corner and disappeared out of sight, Emma was left with nothing but the warring emotions enclosed inside of her heart.

xXx

Emma didn't say anything when Sean sat next to her in Media Immersion or any of her other classes that she had with him. She avoided Chris when he looked at her in question after seeing Sean sitting next to her in math. She didn't stop Sean when he sat down with her, Toby and JT at lunch. She even left him walk her to class without mumbling a single protest.

The truth was, she hadn't said a thing to him all day besides, "Sure," or, "Go ahead," since that morning. Emma wasn't trying to be rude, even though he probably thought she was. She was just too confused and lost in her own mind to really interact with anybody, including the very person that was causing her to do an internal inventory.

It felt like she was on a roller coaster that was climber higher and higher up an all too familiar steel hill, her hands clenched tightly on the bar in front of her. Sean was beside her, urging her to let go of the bar. But she didn't want to because the moment she did she knew they were both going flying down that big, deep slope. Even more frightening, she wasn't so sure anymore she didn't want to fall.

Her mind was centered on all of these thoughts while she was getting her books that she needed to take home when Chris came up behind her, tapping her lightly on the shoulder. She knew it was Chris this time, having suddenly gained some sixth Sean sense that had been driving her up a wall the entire day. "Hey Chris."

"Hey," Chris said as he leaned against the locker next to hers, smiling. "I see I finally found you without Sean."

"Yeah," Emma said with a shrug. "My shadow had shop class. He's probably still there." Emma laughed in amusement. "That is the only class Sean would spend extra time in."

"Cool." Chris went to say something else but just then out of the corner of her eye Emma saw Jay and Alex came walking by with some others Emma knew by face but not by name.

Emma saw Chris looking on in disgust at Jay and turned her head to look more closely. Her eyes traveled down Jay's form, stopping at his hands. _The Media Center's DVD player_, Emma thought in shock.

Jay stopped, glaring at Emma. "Something wrong, Nelson?"

Emma stuck her chin up defiantly. "That's not yours."

"Yeah, and what are you going to do?" Alex wrapped her arm around Jay with a a condescending smile on her face as he spoke to her. "You going to stop me."

"I could go tell Raditch."

Jay shrugged. "Go ahead. But what about Sean?"

Emma felt her stomach bottom out, her heart twisting inside of her._You said you were sorry_, Emma thought brokenly._ I thought that meant you...I thought..._

Emma saw a quick flash of Sean each time he had said he was sorry. The accusation and guilt that would be washed over his face along with the consuming disappointment in himself and the regret that he had hurt her.

Emma felt anger swell up inside of her that she had come so close to...She stopped and wondered what she had come so close to and then her eyes widened.

_Close to forgiving him_, she finished silently.

Emma felt pain rush through her. A pain she swore she would not give Sean the chance to inflict upon her again, yet there is was. Harsh and cold, and just as biting as ever.

Jay must have mistaken her look for one of fear because he continued with a satisfied smirk. "That's right, sweetheart." The way Jay said 'sweetheart, it sounded like a curse word. "In about five minutes Sean is meeting me out front for a ride home. He's completely oblivious, _this time around_, but it won't matter. You take me down, I'll take him with me."

Emma's eyes widened with understanding, the tightening in her chest loosening. _Sean doesn't know_.

Jay smiled smugly. "See. We understand each other just fine." With one last sneer he turned around, DVD player in hand, and began walking toward the door again with Alex and his friends trailing behind him.

"We have to go tell Mr. Raditch," Chris said a moment later, breaking her out of her scattered thoughts.

Emma's face knotted with confusion. "What?"

"About them stealin' the DVD player." Chris grabbed her hand and started to pull her down the hall.

Emma yanked her hand back and shook her head, planting her feet firmly into the floor of the hallway. "No."

"No?" Chris didn't do well at hiding his surprise. "Emma, Jay and his crew of wannabe thugs are making off with the school's property."

"I know. But Sean's with them and I---"

"Sean's just as guilty."

"He's just with them. He's confused and I, I can't do that to him. He doesn't know what they're doing."

"You're kidding, right? Emma, Jay is stealing that DVD player. Just like he stole your stepfather's computer. And when we saw him he hardly even blinked about being caught. He thinks its a game." A brief flash of jealous showed on his face. "Sean doesn't care, either. So he doesn't know this one time. Big deal. He knew every other time. He's just like them."

She stared at Chris for a second, taking in the way he seemed to be pleading silently for her to go with him. _He's just like them_, the words echoed in Emma's mind. Was he? Emma saw a brief flash of Sean, his eyes a soft blue that was sparkling with laughter. Then she saw Jay, his eyes nearly black with seething condescension and a permanent gleam of malice.

_No_, Emma thought decisively. _Sean has maybe done some sucky things but he is not like them. He's just...Sean._

"I'm not saying its right," Emma started, begging Chris with her eyes to understand. " Please, understand. I can't go with you, Chris. I'm sorry. I can't."

"What he and those guys are doing is wrong, Emma. And I'm goin' to tell Raditch. You're a fair person that believes in doin' the right thing. Come with me."

"You sure this is about doing the right thing?" Emma couldn't help but ask.

Chris' head snapped back in shot. "What?"

"You sure you aren't just jealous?" Emma pressed.

"Maybe I am. Maybe I'm jealous. I can admit that. But this isn't about that." Chris put his hands on the sides of her shoulders. "Now, are you comin'?"

Chris waited expectantly before throwing his hands up in the air and turning around, away from her.

Emma stood there frozen in place as Chris' form retreated down the hallway toward Mr. Raditch's office. She tried to stop the quelling of nervous energy flooding her body, all directed in concern for Sean.

Her head knew him and his barrage of wannabe gangsters deserved whatever it was they got for trying to make off with school property but another part of her was dredging up other feelings. Ones that were urging Emma to get as quickly as possible to the front of the school to warn Sean.

_He stole Snake's computer_, one part of her shouted. Her stepfather, _father_, who was right at this moment fighting for his life. And Sean had taken his computer to _hurt_ her. Wasn't this justice, then?

But other images came to mind. Ones of Sean so softly stroking her back and kissing the top of her head. The sound of his voice, laced with gentleness and true concern. The way his words had said it was going to be okay and how, for a moment at least, she really thought it would be. And his eyes, painful orbs of sorrow and regret, begging for forgiveness for what he had done to her.

Ones of Sean, kneeling down at the hinges of her door as she watched from the stairs silently on the way down to her room. Praying he didn't see the way she watched intently how his face would be focused with complete concentration on what he was doing. Like he was in some type of zone or something. Ones of Sean that very morning putting all he could, down to the last cent, into her hand to try and make up for it all. To try and prove that he could change, had changed, but then again had never really changed at all.

_He stole Snake's computer. So what if he just doesn't know this time_, a voice whispered again but she shook it off.

Emma's eyes went wide in bone deep understanding, momentarily admitting the unabashed truth to herself. _He stole my heart_.

Without another second thought Emma raced down the hallway, hoping she could reach Sean in time.

xXx

Emma rushed down the stairs and over to where Sean was standing with Jay and the others. "Sean!"

"Oh, look. Its the ex-girlfriend. Here to pick up the litter on the ground?" Jay said, sending his friends into scathing laughs.

Emma hesitated a second, debating again whether it was a good idea or not.

Sean decided for her as he shot his "friends" a death glare. "Lay off, Jay. Now."

Jay and his friends quieted down but continued to look at her with disgust and contempt. Sean's eyes challenged them to even say one word against her.

Emma sprang back into action and grabbed Sean by the arms, panic flooding through her again. A part of her, the logical and reasonable part, was going _'wrong, wrong, wrong_.' But another, deeper and more ingrained part was going '_right, right, right_' quickly followed by '_Sean, Sean, Sean_."

"Sean, you need to get the DVD player that Jay and them stole out of Jay's car. Now! Chris is in Raditch's office and we both saw Jay earlier but I didn't say anything. And he wanted me to go with him but I couldn't. And I know I should have and a few days ago maybe I would have. But you have to act now before the police get here or..."

"Emma!"

Emma stopped and blinked as Sean shook her shoulders lightly.

"Slow. Down."

Emma took a deep breath, forcing herself to be calm. "Raditch knows you've been taking things. Jay took a DVD player. Its in his trunk. And in a couple of minutes Raditch is going to be out here to see the evidence for himself. With the police not far behind."

Sean whipped his head toward Jay, his eyes narrowing together. "WHAT?"

Jay shrugged, laughing humorlessly. "So sue me!"

Alex looked at Emma, popping her gum while Towerz turned to Jay with questioning eyes.

Sean kept his eyes on Emma for a second more before turning back to the car, grabbing Jay's keys out his hand and opening the trunk up. Sean sighed in resignation as he spotted the DVD player packed into the back corner.

Instead of lashing out at Jay, Sean instead turned to Emma. "Emma, I didn't know. I swear."

"I know." Emma nodded, deciding not to add that it was Jay who had made her sure of that fact.

"Oh, please! Save the gag fest. We have a _real_ problem here!" Jay said from where he was standing with Alex, suddenly losing his devil may care manner and replacing it with slight panic. He pulled Alex's arms from around him and came over to stand next to Sean. "So, what the hell are we going to do now?"

Sean shook his head. "You're the moron who took the DVD player." Sean shrugged helplessly. "I don't know what to do."

"You have to go!" Emma motioned with her hands anxiously.

"Well, princess, we can't," Jay said with a grimace, gesturing to the front of the car. Emma finally noticed that there were small streams of smoke coming up from the front. "The engine's overheated. It isn't going anywhere for at least an hour."

Emma looked back and forth from the DVD player to Sean, not even believing what she was contemplating. Then, "Hand it to me. I'll bring it back."

Sean's face filled with shock. "What?"

Alex laughed behind Jay but didn't say anything.

"Mr. Raditch'll come out here to meet the police," Emma said, surprised at how quickly the wheels in her head were turning. And that she was actually going along with them. "They'll check the car first before going to see where the DVD player was taken from." _I hope_, Emma added silently. "Give it to me. I'll take the back way in. If you stall Raditch and the police I can get it back to the Media Center before the police head there."

Sean shook his head forcefully. "No! No, no. No. Look, I did some things that I shouldn't have. And, I'm willing to accept whatever I got to because of that. But I'm not dragging you into this, Emma. I won't let you do it. "

Emma didn't back down. "You don't have a choice."

Emma had that determined glint to her eyes that Mr. Raditch had even flinched from. When she got something into her head there was no telling her differently. Sean looked away in frustration, kicking a rock hard so that it flew across the street.

Jay, not really caring what happened if Emma got caught, reached into the trunk and then handed the DVD player to Emma. "You are full of surprises," Jay said with a smirk. "Maybe you won't turn my boy into a Boy Scout after all."

Emma made a face. "Bite me." And then without looking back at Sean or the others Emma quickly walked around the corner with the DVD player in her hands, all the while thinking the students of Degrassi could be very oblivious.

Only a few minutes later Mr. Raditch, followed behind him by Chris Sharpe, came out of the door. Mr. Raditch looked at Jay and his crew in a disdainful way before stopping in front of Sean

"Mr. Cameron and Mr. Hogart, I have reason to believe you two have tried to make off with school property. Mr. Cameron, a student has reported that they saw you taking off with some equipment and that you placed it in Mr. Hogart's car."

_I took it and put it in Jay's car_? Sean thought incredulously. Sean's head whipped around to glare at Chris who was standing behind Mr. Raditch.

"You going to hang us on that? Sounds kind of circumstantial to me," Jay cut in, stepping up next to Sean.

"Well, that's why I'm here. Pop the trunk, Mr. Hogart ."

Sean shook his head, folding his arms in front of him. "We don't have to do anything."

"Mr. Cameron, I would encourage you to watch your tone."

Sean laughed derivatively. "Or what? You'll call my parents?"

Just then a police car pulled up to the curb and two police officers stepped out of the vehicle. Mr. Raditch walked over to meet up with them and the three talked in low whispers.

As students still lobbying around the school caught sight of the police car they began to gather around to see exact what was occurring, finally interested in a world outside of their own.

Mr. Raditch by their side, the two officers made their way to where Sean and Jay were standing in front of the car.

"We have reason to believe you have stolen material in your possession. Could you open up the trunk and step away, please," one of the officers, the name Davenport on his badge, said to Sean and Jay.

Jay looked at Sean but Sean shook his head, warning him not to open the trunk. The second they realized what they were looking for they were heading inside to check out where the equipment had been taken from. And possibly straight to Emma.

The other officer, Laskowski, moved forward. "Open up the trunk and step away from the vehicle."

Sean saw a flash of blond come out the door from the corner of his eye and looked up to see Emma making her way through the crowd of people. Emma nodded at Sean when she finally made it to the front, confirming the DVD player was back in the Media Immersion room.

Sean looked back at Mr. Raditch before giving a nod to Jay and moving aside.

Jay smiled. "You want to look? Be my guest."

When Jay opened the trunk Mr. Raditch and the two police officers stepped forward to look. Finding nothing visible they started moving things around. A frown marred Mr. Raditch's features as he looked at the trunk in consternation.

Davenport went to the front, opening up a door and search while Laskowski continued to look through the trunk.

A few more minutes later they still hadn't found anything and Mr. Raditch was becoming frustrated. "Keep looking, officers."

"What room was the DVD player taken from?" Laskowski asked as Davenport came back around to the back of the Jay's car.

"The Media Center." Mr. Raditch looked at the students that were clustered around until he found who he was looking for. "Sharpe, show him where the Media Center is and point out what was stolen."

Chris nodded and moved through the crowd and into the building with Laskowski following behind him. The other officer, Davenport, moved to the front to check the backseat again. Five minutes later Davenport was again searching the trunk when Chris and officer Laskowski came back outside.

"We have a slight problem, sir," Laskowski said, coming up next to Mr. Raditch. Davenport walked over to them and then the three moved to the side, talking again in quiet whispers.

Chris was standing to the side, watching Emma curiously.

"Its all there?" Mr. Raditch's confused voice shot through the air.

Emma bit back a smile.

Mr. Raditch talked to the officers for a few more moments before they headed back to Jay's car.

Alex handed Jay a piece of gum and he put it into his mouth, chewing the piece lewdly. The rest of Jay's friends sneered at the officers arrogantly.

"Will that be all, _Mr. Raditch_," Sean said, not even looking at the police officers.

Emma walked forward a bit, accidentally catching Mr. Raditch's eye. His face took on a calculating gleam that caused Emma to swallow nervously.

Mr. Raditch's face broke into a small grin of triumph. "Ms. Nelson, I was told you also saw Mr. Cameron and his _friends_ taking off with the stolen property from the Media Center."

The officers looked at her with interest. Two students could build a possible case.

Emma's head was caught on one part, '_I was told you also saw Mr. Cameron..._'

"Tell him Emma," Chris broke in.

Emma looked at Chris, shaking her head at him in disbelief. Turning back to Mr. Raditch, her eyes went deceptively wide and a blank look fell upon her face. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Mr. Raditch."

Chris' mouth dropped open an inch. "What?" Chris looked like he wanted to say more but held back for Emma's sake.

Davenport shook his head while Laskowski closed his notepad.

Mr. Raditch was not happy. "Oh, really?"

Emma smiled angelically at Mr. Raditch. "_Really_. I haven't seen anything."

Davenport and Laskowski looked at each other and nodded.

"We're sorry, Mr. Raditch, but we don't have enough to go on." Davenport shook his head. "There's no evidence in the car, the DVD player has been returned and there is only the word of one student to go on."

Laskowski smiled sympathetically. "We don't have enough. We're sorry."

The two officers walked off and got into their police car, driving away from the school.

Emma sighed in relief, feeling the sweat sliding down her neck.

Sean was watching Emma, an unreadable but soft expression on his face.

"You didn't see anything, Emma?" Mr. Raditch asked again.

Emma cocked her head to the side as if momentarily contemplating the question. "No. I didn't see anything, Mr. Raditch."

Mr. Raditch looked back and forth between Sean and Emma as understanding dawned across his face. "I see."

Sean tried to remain cool as Mr. Raditch scrutinized the situation, all the while his heart hammering in his chest at the knowledge that Emma had gone as far as she did to protect him.

"See, she didn't see anything," Jay said with a cocky grin.

Sean nodded, a cold mask over his face. "Are we done here?"

Mr. Raditch's eyes closed into predator-like slits and his mouth was clenched at a hard angle. "I'm watching you, Mr. Cameron."

"Yeah. Go ahead." Sean rolled his eyes, disrespect written all over his body.

Mr. Raditch's nostrils flared. "Watch very carefully where you step, Mr. Cameron."

Sean moved forward, his stance one of a snake ready to bite. "Oh, I am, _Mr. Raditch_."

Mr. Raditch's face blackened. "Mr. Cameron-"

"Am I done here?" Sean said, more forcefully than the last time.

"No," Mr. Raditch said, his face becoming cold. "Mr. Cameron, you've just landed yourself four weeks of Saturday detention."

Sean moved forward towards Mr. Raditch, only inches now separating them. "For what?"

Mr. Raditch smiled, very much looking like the cat that ate the canary. "Failing to cooperate properly and disrespectful behavior."

Sean's snapped his mouth shut, his jaw twitching from the effort of biting his tongue.

"Something you'd like to say, Mr. Cameron?"

"Yeah." Sean looked at Mr. Raditch with contempt, his anger getting the best of him. "You can go to hell!"

"Eight weeks of Saturday detention, Mr. Cameron. Would you like to go for twelve?"

Emma looked at Mr. Raditch, angry that the principle was purposefully bating Sean. She saw Sean go to open his mouth again. "Sean, stop!" she said desperately.

Mr. Raditch's face turned to rest on Emma who was looking at Sean anxiously

Emma turned when she felt her principle's heated gaze on her, taking a deep breath. "Mr. Raditch."

Mr. Raditch's eyebrows bunched together. "Don't think I missed your part in this, Ms. Nelson! You can join Mr. Cameron for his first Saturday of detention."

"What?" Sean said, coming over to stand next to Emma. "For what?"

"Disrespecting an authority figure."

"Disrespecting an...," Emma's face knotted up in confusion. She knew she had done something wrong today but that certainly wasn't it. "I didn't do that."

"Maybe not," Mr. Raditch said, leaning in closely to Emma. "But we both know you did something else." He cast a glance at Sean, whose own face was a tight wall of anger towards Mr. Raditch. "Why don't you be glad I don't pursue that."

With those last words Mr. Raditch turned around and headed into the school, leaving the crowd to gape and stare at the group huddled around Jay's car.

Jay, Alex and the rest of them started cackling like they had won the lottery. They high-fived each other and smiled arrogantly, but Sean simply stood there watching Emma.

"Hey, Nelson," Jay said, smiling in a way that was both condescending and a bit admiring. "There might be hope for you yet."

Emma felt her stomach began to churn and dropped her gaze to the pavement and away from Sean's searing blue eyes. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to find Chris' hard brown ones.

"Emma, how could you do that?" Chris' voice betrayed his hurt.

"How could I..." Emma looked at Chris incredulously. "You told Mr. Raditch that Sean stole the DVD player!"

"I didn't. Mr. Raditch assumed it was Sean. He knows Slim Shady's been taking things left and right. I tried to correct him but he didn't want to listen."

Emma snorted. "I don't believe you."

"That's because you don't want to, Emma. I did the right thing. You're the one that lied to Raditch. To save Sean even after all that he did to you."

Emma didn't know what to say so instead she choice not to say anything at all.

"Not cool, Emma." He shook his head, disappointment written across his face. "Not cool at all." With barely another glance Chris turned around and headed back into the school.

"Looks like Little Miss Muffet just lost her boy toy," Jay said in a mocking voice. "Sean, here's your chance to try and get her to open up those...eyes of hers."

Sean grabbed Jay by the collar, slamming his back against the civic door. Towerz came forward to help out Jay but something in the way Sean looked must have scared him because instead he stepped backward. Sean got close to Jay's face, his voice an angry hiss. "Shut the hell up, Jay!"

Jay looked a bit surprised and Sean couldn't really blame him. The remark itself wasn't anything new. Jay was crude and disrespectful towards everyone, especially the female popularity. Sean couldn't say he had really stopped to think twice about the words that would sometimes come out of Jay's mouth.

Emma ran forward, shaking her head at him. "Sean, Raditch could come back out at any minute! Put him down."

Sean held Jay against the car a second more, his eyes communicating certain death if Jay said one more disrespectful thing about Emma. Then, with a grunt, he let go of Jay's shirt. "You're _not_ worth it."

Jay shook his shirt to get the newly formed wrinkle out, trying to look unfazed. Alex came over to put her arm around him but he shrugged her off. "We're done, Cameron!" He pointed a finger at him, his eyes blazing. "We're completely done!"

The two former friends stared at each other for a minute, something sort of finality passing between them. Then Sean shrugged. "Works for me." Sean picked his discarded backpack off of the ground and turned around to talk to Emma, but she was already gone.

xXx

Emma couldn't say why she was heading after Chris. She wasn't even sure that he hadn't tried to set up Sean. But the word 'safe' kept playing over and over in her mind. When she was with him, really with him and not just floating along in the recesses of her mind while her body was there with him, it wasn't like being with Sean. She felt in control, like she knew what she was doing.

What she had just done had been terrible, wrong, and very _not_ in control. In order to protect Sean she had helped Jay and his friends get away with trying to steal the Media Center's DVD player. What had she been thinking? She was scared. Emma didn't want to fall back into that place where she threw dodge balls in frustration and had crying fits because the boyfriend she had broken up with was making out with another girl.

Sean could never give her control, instead always sending her emotions spiraling inside of her and outside of her until she wasn't even sure what direction she was going in anymore. She wanted control and she had a distinct feeling that was exactly what Chris could give her. A safe, controlled dating experience.

She ignored the voice that yelled, _that's all he can give you_.

"Chris!" Emma said as she came up next to him at his locker, gathering his things to go home.

"Emma," Chris responded in a monotone voice.

"Look, I'm sorry about that." Emma wasn't sure what to say. "But I couldn't...you have to understand that..."

"Yeah, I think I understand perfectly."

Emma nodded, shifting nervously. "So, um, my mom's doing this birthday thing for Snake. I was wondering if you would like to go. With me."

Chris looked at her in surprise. "What, Sean isn't going with you?"

"What?" Emma blinked, shaking her head. "No. Chris, I already told you. Me and Sean are _totally_ over."

"Really? Cause it doesn't look like that to me."

"Chris---"

"You returned the DVD player and then you lied to Raditch, Emma." Chris' face tightened in disappointment. "I'm just gettin' in the middle of something I shouldn't be."

"No. Chris, you're not!"

"Yes, I am. You're tryin' to convince yourself that you're completely over him. But you're not. Not even a little." Chris closed his locker and readjusted his bag, shaking his head. "And I'm just wastin' my time."

Emma sighed as Chris headed out the doors of the school.

xXx

The party swirled around Emma with people that in one way or another were playing a part in keeping Snake alive. By their continued friendship, their reminders to keep living, they made sure Snake kept fighting to be with them. But there was no lingering of Snake's sickness tonight. People were there to celebrate his life and they were with quiet abandon. Even Snake seemed to have found a certain peace with his illness for at least a few hours and was talking and laughing like he used to before the doctors handed him a death sentence.

It was the first time in months that her house wasn't heavy with the feel of death and Emma smiled. _This is nice_, she thought as she sat amidst it all.

She was too busy reveling in the carefree atmosphere that she didn't even notice when Snake plopped down beside her until he spoke. "Hey, kid."

"Snake! The birthday...guy! Hey!" Emma smile widened as she took in the light expression on his face.

Snake smiled back, taking a sip of his drink. He bobbed his head to the music, looking at Emma with a goofy grin. "This is some...cool. music."

Emma rolled her eyes but gave a small laugh. "Yeah."

"Yeah." Snake waited a beat and then, "So, I'm wondering, when is this new guy of yours showing up?"

Emma shrugged. "He's not. Something about getting caught up in the crossfire and wasting his time."

"Oh. I see." Snake's eyes traveled around the room till they fell on Spike's form. Spike instinctively turned toward Snake's direction, smiling as she waved at him happily. Snake's smile brightened as he turned back to Emma. "You mind if I give you some advice?"

"Sure. As long as you don't get too after school special on me, I don't see why not. I mean, it can't mess things up more."

"Thanks...I think." Snake looked thoughtful for a moment, like he was trying to string he words together. "So, every now and then people do things that hurt us or upset us. Sometimes people that we really care about. But, if they're worth it, you'll find it in yourself to forgive them."

Emma was left with the distinct impression that he wasn't talking about Chris.

"Why?"

Snake laughed, standing up. "Because, Em, life is way too short to keep a score card."

Emma watched as Snake made his way to her mother, wrapping his arm around her and placing a small kiss on her forehead. Her mind flashed back to last Friday when Sean had delicately placed kisses on her head to try and offer her comfort.

Emma stood up and made her way to the counter that was scattered with various types of food. Not feeling particularly hungry she grabbed a cup of fruit punch. Then, with a determined gleam in her eyes she headed toward the room full of guests.

_I will not think about Sean tonight_, Emma thought willfully as she came up beside a group of people and joined in their conversation. But somewhere deep in her mind Emma had the distinct impression that it wasn't that simply, that night or any other night to come.

A/N: The next chapter will be based on the episode 'Accidents Will Happen' which is supposed to go between 'This Charming Man' and 'Take On Me'. The-n is skipping the episode but this chica ain't. Also, for those that might have not understood the reference Kim Matthers is Eminem's (Slim Shady's) sometimes wife, sometimes ex-wife depending on the time of the year, I think


	4. Chapter Four: Love is No Accident Part I

Feedback: Thanks to everyone who sent some feedback into my mailbox! I really appreciated it! I'm pretty sure I sent an thank you e-mail to everyone, but if I didn't do you I am so sorry! Again, leave an e-mail and unless I ditz out you will receive a reply! ((remember: The longer the feedback, the longer (and less generic) the response e-mail!))  
Timeline: Accidents Will Happen, rewritten to my liking. Although, I wouldn't say it is necessary to have watched AWH to understand this chapter. Spoiler warning: This contains spoilers for the episode 'Accidents Will Happen'. At some points I even quote from AWH shamelessly, so it includes direct dialogue. But mostly, its only a general adaptation. I've changed a lot. Especially the dialogue in certain places.   
A/N: I don´t know when Emma´s birthday is. Do you? Also, I've written another ridiculously long two chapter segment on one episode. But at least AWH was a two-parter so I feel less bad. Yeah, but this chapter is long. It comes in at 7,618 words. Oh, by the way, the gymnastics team that came out of NOWHERE? I'm cutting it out.

My Charming Man Chapter Three: Love is No Accident Part I

_You say, "Can't you ever just forgive?"  
Well, that's a mighty big word  
for such a small man  
And I don't think I can  
Cause I don't even know now  
who I am  
Its to soon for me to say, "forgive"_

Sean walked through the hallways, determined and single minded. Other students mingled around him, talking and laughing, but his mind was only focused on Emma. Getting to Emma.

"Where's the fire, Cameron?" Someone called out to him as he zoomed past them, but Sean wouldn't have been able to tell you who.

Then, he saw her and his breath caught in his throat.

A dreamy, half-awake smile played on her lips as she pulled the books out of her locker. Her hair flowed down her back in shiny, blond tresses that curled at the ends. Sean couldn't remember ever noticing the color of a girl's shirt before, but in that moment he noticed the deep blue of her t-shirt made her hair look like spun gold. Even from feet away her skin looked soft, the type you could spend hours dancing your fingers across.

Finding the courage, Sean began to close the small space between them. Sean could feel the sticky gleam of sweat on his palms and he marveled that one girl could so easily undo him.

"Emma," he said as he came to stand beside her, trying to keep his voice casual. But this was the girl who had lied to Raditch for him. This was the girl that his heart skipped a beat for each time he saw her.

He waited for her eyes to turn towards him and for him to find the unwavering cold of their glare. Or for her to biting tell him to get lost, not even bothering to turn in his direction.

Yet, when Emma turned to look at him he found a smile on her face. More shockingly, it was a smile directed at him. "Sean! Hey! What took you so long? I was waiting for you!"

Sean's stomach jumped. "You were?"

Emma's smile grew. "Of course, silly! You're my big strong, Honeybee!"

"I wasn't aware that I was your anything." Sean scratched his head. "Not for lack of trying on my part."

"Sean, you're my everything! I don't care about what you did. We all make mistakes. I'd be completely making the biggest letting you go again."

Sean hesitated a moment, then took a risk and reached out his hand to take Emma's in his own. As her hand willingly slid into his own he was shocked by the rightness of it. At how magically it seemed that her fingers matched with his own.

Emma smiled mischievously, pulling him closer by their interlocked hands.

Sean jumped in shock as he came only inches away from Emma, the span between his body and her own so miniscule that he could feel her body heat.

Emma smiled slyly at him before bringing meeting his lips with her own.

It was the softest of kisses, merely a grazing of his own lips across hers. But it jolted him to his core, the brief touch of her lips on his. Had he ever really been kissed by someone other than Emma? If he had, he couldn't remember.

When the fog in Sean's head cleared he found Emma peering at him, her face open and mesmerizing. She pulled him to her again, this time in a hug. Her lips were inches from his ear as she whispered, "I love you, Sean. You're my ski cap wearing God!"

Sean wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes to savor the moment.

"Now, get up!"

Sean pulled back, startled by the strange dip in Emma's voice.

"What?"

"Get up! Sean, you're going to be late."

"Emma, what the hell are you talking about?"

Suddenly Sean felt cold air wash over him, feeling as though a cocoon of warmth had been stripped from around his body. He looked at Emma helplessly, her face now a mask of disapproval. Words were coming out of her mouth but they were slow moving, and her voice was manipulated into a low tenor.

"Sean....get....up.."

Sean shot up in bed, his eyes panicked and confused. It took him a moment to adjust to the atmosphere around him, his head still cloudy from his dream.

He looked to his bed stand for his alarm clock, but found it missing. Trailing his eyes across the floor he saw it unplugged and thrown into a corner. _I guess I did that in my sleep_, Sean thought with a silent laugh.

Looking to the front of the bed he saw Tracker holding his missing blanket wadded up in his hands. His jaw was in a tight line as he said, "Sean, get a move on. You're going to be late." Tracker threw the blanket back at Sean, then headed for the door as he said. "And I ain't driving you."

"Yeah. Thanks," Sean replied as Tracker closed the door behind him.

Sean moved to sit on the side of the bed, rubbing his hands across his eyes to try and become more alert. Yet, his mind was still caught on his dream. It had seemed so real. _Well, minus the part where Emma forgave me, willing accepted me back into her life, and called me her ski cap wearing God_, Sean decided silently.

He ignored the part of his mind that laughed at him and said, "_Basically all of it._"

Sean grunted as he stood up and moved to his dresser, the image of Emma smiling at him and saying she forgave him playing in his mind over and over again. Sean pulled out a bundle of clothing he had worn earlier that week as a voice said, _What you need to do, Cameron, is figure out how to make Emma forgive you._

Sean shook his head as he slipped his clothes on. "You don't _make_ Emma Nelson do anything." He wasn't sure he had ever said a more true thing. "You try and you end up with one angry blonde on your hands. Before you know it, she's spouting about feminism and independence and its a big thing."

On the other side of the door Tracker knocked then called, "Did you say something, Sean?"

"What?" Sean said, jumping as he was broken out of his ramble. "_No_! What do you want?"

Sean could hear the laughter in his brother's voice as he said, "Easy, brother. I was just walking by and heard you having a grand old time talking to yourself."

"I wasn't talking to myself!"

"Whatever," Tracker said, his voice fading off as he walked away.

Sean picked his ski cap off the ground, giving it a small shake. He slid it onto his head before grabbing his sneakers and heading over to his bed. As Sean sat down and tied the laces to his shoes he started thinking, a habit he was sure had rubbed off of Emma and annoyingly onto him.

The last week had flipped what had been his world for the last few months on its head, leaving Sean reeling a bit. Now, Monday morning, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to act. The friends he had dropped everything for, destroyed himself for, were gone. And the girl he thought he had left behind for them was now the only thing he wanted.

_Some would call it poetic justice, Cameron._

As his thoughts continued on, Sean couldn't help but groan when he thought of the past weekend. Emma had dodged, sidestepped, and outright avoided him at every turn. Even when he had been over her house all of Sunday afternoon working on Snake's car, Emma had some how managed to evaporate into thin air.

_Too bad Raditch had some lame Principles convention this weekend_, Sean thought in disgruntlement. _At least in detention I would have been able to see Emma_.

On that note Sean couldn't help but laugh at himself. He could almost hear Jay's sneering remark. "_Get a grip, Cameron. No piece of ass is worth going batty over._"

Before Sean went out the door of his room he grabbed the $2.55 off of his dresser and put it in his pocket to give to Emma later that day. As he mumbled a goodbye to Tracker before heading off to school, he heard what his own reply to Jay would be loud and clear within his own mind: _She's worth it_.

xXx

The school was bustling in that way it only did early in the morning. Students with bleary eyes and sleep laden thoughts scattered the grounds, talking about the test they were going to fail or the homework that took them three hours to complete. The feeling was the exact opposite of the one felt at the end of the long school day, when their minds were sharp and their thoughts dwelled on whatever event they had deemed a mishap.

Emma Nelson loved sitting on the steps outside of the school, watching all the other students file in during the morning rush. The air always had that early hours tinge of cold that was awakening to the senses and if she searched for it hard enough there was this moment where everything made sense.

"Hey, Em."

Emma jumped, turning around and then smiling in relief when she found JT's goofy grin staring down at her. Although she had developed Sean radar, she wouldn't put it past him to find some way to sneak up on her. "Hey JT!"

JT plopped down on the step above the one she was sitting on. "So, whatcha' doin' ? Plotting to save the whales?"

"You know, I´m not always trying to save the whales." Emma smiled good naturedly. "Sometimes, I even try to save other endangered species."

"Now, that´s why Sean loves you. You´re just full of surprises," JT quipped.

Emma rolled her eyes, swatting him playfully on the shoulder. "Sean doesn´t love me."

Although, Emma had to admit he was rather persistent in his new pursuit of her. She, no matter how much they might need the extra help around the house, was not enjoying it. Emma wasn't sure she had ever spent more time on a Sunday afternoon locked in her room staring at the ceiling. By the time Sean had finally left she had needed to go to the bathroom for nearly two hours. Yes, if Emma could have kicked herself for taunting Sean into proving it she would have.

_Stupid boy_, Emma thought with displeasure._He's always getting me to do stupid things! Its him! He, like, makes me bring myself down to his level or something_.

"Oh, really." JT said, his voice breaking into Emma's inner rant. JT sat up straighter, making what he would probably consider a 'tough guy' pose. "Oh, Emma...You are the only thing is this life I can´t live without. Please, forgive me for being a jackass. And for always wearing that stupid hat. I´ll do anything you want. I´ll even do JT´s homework for a week, if only you would ask."

Emma couldn't help but laugh, even if it was slightly at her own expense. "Dream on, JT!"

"Come on, Em! Inquiring minds want to know! When are you going to take him back?"

"I´m not! Its over." Even Emma didn't feel convinced by her own voice. Emma was silently more than a little annoyed that the two days away from Sean, one of which spent hiding out in her room, hadn't completely eradicated her topsy-turvy feelings for him. Okay, so they hadn't been eradicated even a bit but there was no need to be picky. At least the weekend had given her new resolve towards the entire situation.

Complete new resolve. Emma Nelson was done with Sean Cameron. The next time she saw him she would tell him exactly where to go. Then, she would be perfectly content and happy with her life when he did leave her alone. She wouldn't be sad. Not a bit.

"Right. Like it was over last year," Toby said as he joined in the conversation, sitting down on the same step as JT. "Face it, Emma. You two getting back together is inevitable.' Toby made a dopey face, his voice dipping into a low coo. "Oh, Sean. Of course I´ll take you back. You´re my Seany-Wanny."

JT laughed, happy that someone else wanted to play his game. "Emma! I knew this day would come. Let me take you away to my trailer home in the sky, where we can live happily ever unlikely after. _My love_."

"Ha ha." Emma's amusement had officially dried up following her own thoughts. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Alright." JT´s face become serious. "How´s Mr. Simpson doing?"

Toby´s smile fell as well, his eyes turning grave. "Yeah, how is he doing? I heard a rumor that..."

"He´s fine." Emma forced a smile on her face as the warning bell for homeroom rang. "Just fine."

Before JT or Toby could ask more Emma got up off the stairs and headed inside, mumbling that she needed to get to homeroom. JT and Toby exchanged worried glances before also getting up off the steps and heading into the school. They didn´t say anything as they walked through the hallways together, but they shared the same exact thought.

_Right, he´s as fine as you are _.

xXx

Mr. Evans brimmed with excitement over the new assignment, even as the rest of the class made faces. "This history assignment will allow us to expand upon the topics we've been discussing in class!"

Liberty raised her hand with a disgruntled expression on her face.

Mr. Evans sighed. Liberty _always_ found a reason to raise her hand. "Yes, Liberty."

"How long will we have to complete the project?"

"Until next Friday."

"Do we have to work in pairs?"

"Yes, Liberty," Mr. Evans said, his voice losing a bit of its cheerful glow.

Liberty frowned. "Well, who is my partner? What is are project on?"

"You´ll be researching 1958 with," Mr. Evans looked through his notes, "Sean Cameron."

JT visibly sighed, looking up to the ceiling as though he was finally making peace with God.

Liberty opened her mouth to ask a question but Mr. Evans held up his hand and began to read out the names of other project pairs.

Sean ignored the glares of contempt Liberty kept shooting his way and instead focused on listening closely for Emma´s name and who she was paired with.

Is it too much to ask that God cut me a break, Sean grumbled to himself. _What did JT ever do for him?_ Yes, the truth was that Emma wasn't looking at him anymore like she wanted to beat him over the head with a blunt object. Instead, she had this slightly panicked look that was laced with this small trace of inner turmoil. The problem was Sean wasn't sure what look was worse.

When Sean had handed her the $2.55 in homeroom earlier that day Emma had looked as though she had wanted to toss it back in his face. But she hadn't. Instead she had taken a deep breath, pocketed the money, and then turned away from him. Emma had looked so lost and helpless he hadn't even tried to say word to her.

Sean heard Emma´s name and then groaned when he heard the one following it. While JT was still counting his blessings, Sean was feeling screwed over. Three times.. First, he had to work with Liberty. _Liberty_. Second, he didn´t get to work with Emma. And third, Chris got to work with Emma.

Even worse was the voice in the back of his mind, ever becoming louder and more persistent. The one that kept repeatedly telling him, _You can't apologize forever_.

xXx

Emma wasn't a big fan of gym class nowadays, which was strange because she considered herself an athletic individual. For the last few weeks they had been using gymnastics equipment during their classes. Normally she would appreciate the opportunity to move and the break from a day where most of her time was spent sitting at a desk. But now, when most of her energy was focused on her thoughts, it was a trial to participate in even the smallest physical activity.

Coming up to the balance beam Emma forced herself to think about gymnastics and her gym class. Perhaps the truth was Emma hadn't been putting any focus on much of anything over the last three weeks. She was pretty sure her schoolwork was suffering, even as she tried to keep a smile on her face.

_But how am I supposed to be fine when Snake is dying a little more everyday_, Emma thought desperately. She played up the part of Emma Nelson, but the truth was it was becoming tiring._And now I have to worry about all of this with Sean_.

Emma quieted her mind, pulling herself up to a standing position on the balance beam. Somehow the world came to a standstill and she forced everything to fade away till there was nothing but the beam and herself. Somehow she became flowing, unstoppable grace.

When Emma finally stopped, jumping down from the balance beam, she had the gaping faces of most of her gym class looking at her. Then to her astonishment they began to clap and cheer.

Ms. Hatzilakos came over, smiling excitedly. "Emma, that was wonderful! I had no idea you had it in you. Next year there's going to be a gymnastics team. You should really think about joining."

"I'll think about it."

"Great. We really need gymnasts like you."

Ms. Hatzilakos kept speaking to her but whatever burst of attention Emma had been given faded away just as suddenly as it had come. Now, Emma's eyes were focused on the door that she saw another one of her classmates running towards. The girl's eyes were bulging and watery, with her hand clutched over her mouth. Just the other day Kendra had also dashed out and to the bathroom, hand over her mouth. The stomach flu, it seemed, was working its way through the entire Degrassi population.

Emma's eyes wandered to Ms. Hatzilakos again, only to find her gone. Emma saw Manny on the balance beam out of the corner of her eye and frowned, thinking about English class earlier that day for the first time. Manny had run out of class, looking as pale as Kendra had the other day. Now the question was if Manny was also sick.

Emma stood there, halfway between going over to talk to Manny and just letting it be. Manny had once been her best friend, but that seemed almost a lifetime ago. Yet, still she found her feet covering the ground between her and Manny until she stood in front of her.

Manny didn't break her stride on the balance beam, instead continuing an assault of off-balance flips and shaky moves. Emma knew Manny was better than how she was performing, better than she herself was, yet what she saw on the balance beam was sloppy work at best. Yet, Manny kept trying to land the perfect flip as though she was trying to prove to herself that she was better than Emma.

"You are you know," Emma finally said, causing Manny to stop and look down at her from the balance beam.

"What?" Manny asked, confused.

"Better than I am. You don't have to prove it. Everyone knows you're the best, Manny. They were just surprised to see me pull off a half decent routine."

Manny jumped off the balance beam so that she was eye to eye with Emma. "I have to prove that I deserve to be the captain of the gymnastics team next year."

"You already are captain, Manny. You know, I know it, and so does Ms. H."

A flash of vulnerability came over Manny's face and for a minute she was the Manny that Emma had known for nearly her entire life. "You really think so?"

"Completely."

Manny smiled smugly. "Well, of course. I mean, who else would it be, right?"

"Right." Emma paused for a second. "Manny, I saw you run out of English earlier today. If you're sick, you should lay off the gymnastics before you get hurt."

Manny shrugged, walking over to the bleachers to grab her water as Emma followed behind. "It was nothing. Besides, who made you my mother."

"I´m just concerned.' Emma began to turn in the direction of Ms. H. "She should know if you aren't feeling well."

Manny grabbed Emma´s arm. "Please, Emma. My life sucks right now. I don´t have anything else. If I'm not out here someone might catch her eye. I-I don't just want to be captain next year. I _need_ to be. Please. It was just something I ate, I'm all better now. Really."

Emma didn´t believe her excuse, but she heard the desperate plea in Manny´s voice. Emma turned back to Manny and gave an almost imperceptible nod.

Manny´s face lit up with a relieved smile. She went to say something but Ms. Hatzilakos cut her off.

"Manny! Why don´t you come show us all how its really done?"

Manny fluttered past Emma, not sparing a backward glance as she headed for the balance beam. This time, Manny was nearly perfect on the beam as she gained back her confidence. Her movements were ones to be envied. As Emma watched her one time best friend, she couldn´t stop herself from thinking about the irony of it all.

If there had been one thing Emma was sure of a few months ago, it had been her unwavering friendship with Manny Santos. In the naivety of a still looming overhead childhood and an inborn innocent that sometimes made her see the world more optimistically than perhaps she should, Emma had believed it was unshakable. There had just been no question, Manny and her would be friends till the day they died.

It still jolted Emma sometimes when she saw Manny across the room, like now, and realized they were utterly and completely separate from each other. That a civilized word here or there is all they really had left to offer to one another.

Anything more was to far from reach.

Sometimes when Emma was upset she would pick up the phone at her house and instinctively start to dial Manny's number before putting it down in realization. Or she would start the all too familiar path to Manny's locker at lunch time before stopping in her tracks, remember that they didn't have lunch together anymore.

They didn't do _anything_ together anymore.

xXx

Gym class was over and the sweat smelling locker room was nearly empty, most of the other girls having changed and headed off to lunch.

Manny came up behind Emma, touching her arm. "Em?" Emma turned around, a questioning expression on her face. "I-I heard about Mr. Simpson. About him being in the hospital. I´m sorry."

Emma smiled reassuringly, pushing away her own doubts. "Its okay. Its more intense chemo and its actually better for him. "

Manny looked at Emma with admiration. "Its amazing that you're just here and getting on with everything."

"You know me, I wouldn't know how to slow down if someone gave me written instructions."

Manny smiled as she looked at Emma. "So, what's the deal with you and Sean?"

_Oh, she just had to say the 'S' word_, Emma thought in disgruntlement. "There is no deal."

"Right. He's only been following you around like a puppy for, like, two weeks now," Manny commented as the last person besides Manny and Emma left.

Emma sighed. "I don't know. He's got it into his head that he wants me back or something. I think he's actually lost it. Now Chris won't talk to me and its a big mess."

Manny looked surprise. "So, what, you _don't_ want him back?"

"No, I don´t want him back! Who told you I wanted him back? Because I don´t. Want him. Back, that is. Its over. Completely over. We're done. And I don't want him back," Emma finished lamely.

"Right. When have I heard that before?"

"I mean it, okay? I don't want anything to do with him." _I don't_, Emma added to herself silently.

Manny laughed, wearing her goofy 'hopeless romantic' grin on her face. "If you say so. But I heard that you took a dive for him and got a Saturday detention with Raditch. That's like so romantic!"

"That's not what happened! _Completely_."

"So, how did it go?' Emma looked at her, clueless. "The detention with your love?"

"He's not my love! Don't call him that! And it didn´t happen. At least, not this Saturday. Raditch had some thing to do this weekend, a lame conference or something. But this weekend is the wonderful day. Me and Sean in a room for hours on end. Alone, with my luck. Its the things dreams are made of."

"Sounds like fun." The strange thing was, Manny sounded like she meant it.

Just then Hazel came in, looking slightly flustered. "Do either of you have a tampon? I have a major emergency!"

Emma looked into her bag before turning back to Hazel apologetically. "Sorry. I forgot to stock up."

Manny smiled, whipping a tampon out of her bag. "Oh, I have one! I haven't used mine in forever."

Emma's mind repeated those words. _I haven´t used mine in forever_.

"Oh, thanks Manny! You're a lifesaver."

Hazel gratefully took the extended tampon from Manny´s hand before rushing back out of the room. The entire time, Emma´s questioning eyes remained on Manny.

Manny shifted uncomfortably underneath Emma´s scrutinizing gaze. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

"Manny, I know this is totally none of my business," Emma began hesitantly, "but you were sick earlier. And... Are you sure its not something else?"

Something close to shock washed over Manny's face before a hard mask fell across her features. "You're right, it is none of your business."

Emma rolled her eyes. "But, you can ask me all the questions you want about me and Sean, right?"

"You know what, Em," Manny said, gathering all of her things. "Just stay out of everyone's business. Especially mine."

Even before Manny headed out the door and gave one last parting glare, she seemed to Emma to be a million miles away.

xXx

The next day in homeroom Emma didn't even blink when Sean came and sat beside her. It was commonplace now for Sean to always take the closest available seat to her and Emma had long since given up fighting it. With her stepfather still in the hospital and a million other jumbling thoughts swirling within her, Emma couldn't muster the strength to fight with Sean either.

"Hey," Sean said, his voice hoarse as though he had only awoken a handful of minutes before. Emma squelched the thought that said his scratchy, morning voice should be bottled and marketed.

"Hello, Sean," Emma said, her tone not as callous as usual. She looked at him and couldn´t help it when her heart sped up a bit. _Was it wrong to push away all the dark thoughts for just a second?_, Emma argued to herself. _To find a little bit of comfort in his smile_?

"Well, that's an improvement on 'Sean, go away'," he said, twisting the last three words into a high pitch.

Emma gave an exaggerated frown, allowing herself to fall into a playful mood. Needing to fall into a playful mood. "I don't really sound like that, do I?"

Sean smiled. "Nah. Much cuter."

"That's good to know," Emma said, smiling back at him.

"I think I should take a picture," Sean joked. "You're actually smiling at me."

"Well, don't get used to it," Emma mumbled, but she still continued to smile.

"I like it when you smile," Sean confessed, looking at her with a soft expression. For whatever reason they seemed to have fallen into a small truce. Sean decided it was perfect for asking something he had been wondering recently. "So, how's Mr. Simpson doing?"

Emma frowned, and Sean wished he could put the smile back on her face. "He's okay. The chemo is rough, but he's sticking in there. I don't think he likes being in the hospital but...You know Snake, he's telling corny jokes at every turn. Fighting hard and hanging in there."

"That's good to know." Sean meant it.

Emma fought it but couldn't help acknowledging how right it felt to be talking with Sean. With no angry, hurtful words cutting every moment between them into pieces. To be joking and laughing with each other, and finding a lost amount of comfort ability. It was almost like they were friends again.

No, Emma thought forcefully, we were never friends. _This is not leading anywhere good_.

Sean was just getting used to her not shooting daggers at him with her eyes when suddenly she wasn't so pleasant anymore. Her mouth spread into a hard line and she got that expression on her face that he was getting very used to. The one that said she was about to say something biting and sharp; something that was going to sting like all hell.

"Yeah," Emma said in a clipped tone. "He hardly even misses his alien ware laptop with that piece of crap my mom bought him laying around. But, you already knew that. I mean, you're the one who stole it from a sick man."

Sean was confused, not understanding how she could so quickly turn from nuke warm back to icy cold. The way she ping-ponged up and down was enough to drive anyone crazy, and Sean was slowly learning he was no exception.

_She's worth it_, he told himself even as he felt his gut clench at her cold stare.

xXx

Three periods later, Sean's day hadn't gotten any better. Emma, it seems, had decided she needed to make up for even showing him the smallest amount of civility. He had thought her cold eyes and harsh words couldn't get any worse, but he had been very wrong.

But Emma had only been the worst of his problems. He had accidentally blown off his Math assignment, had stubbed his toe on his desk chair in second period, and had nearly fallen asleep in his last class thereby inviting the wrath of Mrs. Kwan.

Sean wasn't exactly sure why but he was beginning to believe Emma was at that heart of all this. _She put a curse on me_, Sean thought as he walked down the hallway. _I know it_!

"Oh, look! If it isn't the environmental chick's new lapdog," Sean heard from behind him as he walked down the hallway. "Or...is that old lapdog."

Sean stopped and turned around to come face to face with the guy he had once stupidly considered a friend. _And I thought my day couldn't get any worse_. "Jay."

Jay smirked, sharing an amused look with Towerz and Alex. "I was thinking about buying you a collar. You know, to celebrate you goin' back to the old ball and chain." Jay made like he was looking around. "By the way, where is the little bi---" Jay suddenly thought better of his words as he looked at Sean, "blonde? I want to give her my congrats on being so manipulative that you don't even get it!"

Sean gritted his teeth. "Be careful...what you say about Emma."

"Or what?" Jay laughed. "You'll look at me the wrong way?"

Sean took a step closer to Jay. "I might hit you the wrong way."

"I doubt it. Your girlfriend wouldn't like it. And its all about getting her to like you, isn't it? Following her around, making sure dirt doesn't touch her polished white shoes." Jay sneered in disgust, looking at Sean condescendingly. "You used to be hardcore. Now look at you! You're pathetic, Cameron."

_You're pathetic_. He had heard that one before, but coming from Jay it lacked an effective sting.

"I'd rather be pathetic than be someone you would hang out with," Sean said snapped back.

Jay shoved past him, heading down the hall with his own faithful bunch of lapdogs trailing after him. Sean clenched his fists by his side, grinding his teeth together. _She's worth it_, he repeated in his mind like a sacred mantra. _She's worth it_.

xXx

Liberty dumped a stack of books on the table and Sean just barely stifled a groan.

"Is there a book left on the shelf?"

"Funny." Liberty look at him, disgruntled. " There is actually an abundance of books on our topic. I could go get more if you would like?"

"No. Really." Sean pulled a couple books closer to him. "These...seven are great."

"Okay, so I was thinking we could start..." Liberty began, but trailed off as she focused on something that had fallen within her line of version.

Sean turned around and rolled his eyes when he realized Liberty was gazing at JT. _Surprise, Surprise_. Snapping his fingers in front of her face to get her attention again, he said, "Can we try to concentrate. I don´t exactly want to spend my entire afternoon stuck in this library with you."

Liberty turned back to Sean, her eyes hazy. "Huh?"

Sean couldn't help but laugh. "Why don´t you give it up?"

"So, it hasn´t worked out in the past. That doesn´t mean it won´t in the future," Liberty said, stubbornly refusing to see the truth.

"Liberty, I think its time you came face to face with the real world. You and JT? Not gonna happen. There is no future. " Liberty´s jaw tightened as her eyes glazed over, making Sean suddenly feel very guilty. "Look, if you´re too busy waiting for JT to notice you then you´ll never be noticed. Move on. You'll feel a lot better."

Liberty inched her chair a bit closer to Sean. "Move on," she said, a self-pleased smile appearing on her face. "I think I like the sound of that."

"Good," Sean said, not noticing the way Liberty was suddenly looking at him. "Now, let´s see what we can come up with for our assignment. I was thinking..."

He stopped talking as his eyes wandered over to the corner where he was startled to find Emma and Chris in the corner huddled over a stack of books and talking in quiet voices. Liberty and their project faded off as he became fixated on Chris and the way he watched Emma moved.

_Wasn´t he supposed to hate Emma now_? Sean wondered in annoyance. He wasn´t acting like he hated Emma. Not in the least. In fact, Sean really didn´t like the way his shoulder kept brushing against Emma´s or how he was leaning over just then to read a passage in the same book as her.

"The project is over here, Cameron!" Liberty snapped, in a voice that nearly imitated his own minutes before.

Sean dragged his gaze back to Liberty, who was staring at him disapprovingly. "What?"

"We have an assignment to do, Cameron. I suggest you start paying attention."

"Right. Like you were five minutes ago?"

Liberty smiled smugly as she shot a glance at Emma and Chris. "You should just give up while you´re ahead. Move on. I know this must be difficult to hear---"

"Are you kidding me?" Sean laughed. 'Liberty, me and Emma are not the same as you and JT."

"Really?" Liberty shook her head while mumbling to herself, "And people say I can't take a hint."

xXx

Emma was started to become amazed at how quickly her legs could move when she really wanted them to. Rushing out of the library and through the school, she was again running away as fast as possible from Sean Cameron without actually running. She didn´t even take the time to stop at her locker, instead hoping she had the right assortment of books in her bag.

_What had Sean been doing there anyway_?, Emma thought with a frustrated groan. Well, of course he had been working on his project. She knew that. But did he have to pick the library to work in and did it have to be at the same time she was there?

She had tried not to notice Sean sitting at the table with Liberty, keeping her gaze carefully averted. Yet, in between trying to figure out what had turned Chris around and actually working on their project, she had stolen a countless amount of hidden glances.

Emma walked out the door of the school, hoping Sean still had some things to finish up with Liberty before heading out. Emma saw two familiar figures sitting off to the side and slowed down her furious pace to get a better look.

_What are Craig and Manny doing together_?, Emma thought in puzzlement. Whatever was occurring between them seemed to be very serious. Manny looked like she was about to cry and Craig had an expression on his face Emma wasn´t quite sure she had ever seen before.

Emma nearly stopped to ask what was wrong but chastised herself quietly. With a shrug Emma continued on her way home, thoughts of Sean hammering through her mind.

xXx

When Sean came out of the school, Emma was long gone. She had left the library nearly a half an hour after Chris had headed home, following a lengthy goodbye in the doorway near his table. _How many times could some say they didn't want to be walked home?_, Sean had wondered.

Sean had hoped to be able to catch Emma on the way out, but he had been stuck in the library with Liberty for nearly another hour. Sean shifted the backpack on his shoulder, already feeling the three large textbooks taking their toil.

Sean saw Craigsitting off to the side, a contemplative expression on his face. Sean hesitated for a second before deciding to head over. "Hey, Craig! What´s up?"

Craig blinked, looking at Sean in confusion. "Sean? What are you doing here?"

"Schoolwork,' Sean answered simply.

"You do schoolwork? I mean, cool," Craig amended, nodding his head. "I was just...trying to decide if I know how to not screw up my life."

"What?' Sean asked, sitting down beside Craig.

"You have this idea on how things are. Or, like, how they should be?" Craig laughed, thought he didn't look amused. "You...you think you have everything all neatly boxed away. But you don´t. You really don´t, you know. But what if...What if someone could give you something, and they´re not sure they want to give it to you? But it could, like, make things different."

Sean was trying but he was having a hard time following. "Am I supposed to know what you're talking about?'

"No. Don't worry about it. Its...Nothing. Nothing," Craig said, shrugging. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair at his let out a small groan. "Forget I mentioned it."

Sean nodded. "So...you´re okay?'

"Yeah. I'm great." Craig laughed sardonically. "I'm just great! Frickin' great!"

"Cool," Sean said, not believing him but knowing there was nothing he could do.

"So, how about you?" Craig thought for a second, looking at Sean. "God, I haven't talk to you in like forever. Did you get Emma to take you back yet?"

Sean couldn't help but laugh, even if it was a tad nervously. "Does everyone know about that?"

"Yeah. Yeah, pretty much."

"I´m the locker room whipping boy, aren´t I?'

"Oh, definitely." Craig patted Sean's shoulder. "But don't worry! You're our favorite whipping boy!"

"Great. That´s great," Sean said miserably. Clenching his fists at his side, he held onto the three words that had been sustaining him: _She's worth it_.

"So, you´re okay?" Craig said, echoing back Sean's own words.

Craig and Sean both knew neither of them was okay, but saying it wouldn't do anything. They both understand without having to say a word.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

Craig nodded in understanding. "Cool."

The two sat in companionable silence till the sun began to set.

xXx

The following day Emma was scanning the crowded lunch room for an empty table she could sequester herself at, preferably away from Sean. She was about to head over to a dark corner when Ashley's loud voice caused a hush in the lunch room.

Emma watched on as Ashley's eyes blazed with fire while Manny and Craig looked like a pair of mischievous children that had been caught and trapped into a corner.

"These two idiots? Are pregnant," Ashley snarled out. "Because it is so difficult to use a condom."

Manny rushed out of the lunchroom as Ashley continued to stare down Craig. Ashley whispered one more thing to Craig before storming off and away from Craig. Craig, for his part, sat there stunned.

"Emma!" Sean said, tapping on her shoulder to get her attention.

Emma didn't look at him as she said, "Sean."

"Crazy, huh? I can't believe Manny would do that."

Emma looked in the direction Manny had run just a minute before. "I can." Emma shook her head. "I-I mean, I can't believe it either."

"Yeah."

Suddenly JT and Toby came up beside where Sean was standing, Toby looking mildly interested and JT looking at Emma with a desperate expression on his face.

"Em, that's not true. Right? That was just Ashley completely losing whatever sanity she had after the initial break-up?"

"Hey, Ashley's not crazy," Toby piped in, defending his quasi-stepsister. "She's just dealing with hormones or whatever it is that makes females flippy."

"Right, hormones. Crazy hormones," JT said, rolling his eyes. "So, about Manny..."

Emma sighed, beginning to move away from them. She finally cast a glance at Sean who looking more concerned about her for some reason than he was about anyone involved in the situation.

"I have to go after her," Emma stated, pointing in the direction Manny had run through earlier. She gave JT a pitying look before beginning to walk away, saying over her shoulder as she went, "I'll see you all later."

When Emma entered the bathroom she nearly bumped into Paige and Terri who were on their way out. She didn't spare them a glance, however. Her concern was all for Manny.

"Manny?" she called out, as the door slowly closed shut. "Manny, I know you're in here."

A stall door swung open to reveal a disheveled and crying Manny. She laughed bitterly. "Go ahead and say it, Em! Say I screwed up! Go ahead! Its what you're thinking, right? You and like everybody."

"No. I'm thinking you _and_ Craig screwed up!" Emma saw another tear roll down Manny's cheek and softened her voice. "I wish you could have talked to me about it, Manny."

"I-I wish I could have to," Manny said hoarsely. "But its not like you wanted to hear about me and Craig!"

"Well, I'm listening now." Emma smiled sympathetically at Manny. Something occurred to Emma in that small sliver of a moment. Even with everything that lay between them, every way they had changed and every cruel word they had said, she still knew Manny better than she would ever know most people. Manny was still her best friend, there was no former about it. She just was. "I have to meet Chris after school to work on our project. Then, I'm babysitting Jack when I get home. But, why don't you come over?"

"I told Craig---"

"You can bring Craig if you want," Emma said, cutting Manny off.

Manny bit her lip before nodding her head hesitantly. An understanding look passed between them, one that said so many things they were holding back. Emma felt old, festering wounds from the fallout of their friendship finally began to heal.

Emma kicked herself mentally as she couldn't help but wonder why it was impossible for it to be as simple for her and Sean. As Manny continued to smile at Emma gratefully a voice answered back, _Because nothing between the two of you has ever been simple._

xXx

_To be continued..._

_Chapter four note: For all of you wondering how much more Sean could possibly subject himself to, this is all pretty much building up some things that are going to go down in chapter five._

_A/N: Story name will be changed to 'Charming Emma Nelson". 'AWH' rewrite to be continued in the next chapter. Also, I'm playing with doing a secondary pairing in this story. If you have any suggestions, feel free to let me know!_


	5. Chapter Five: Love is No Accident Part I...

A/N: Real life has been kicking my butt and I hit a brick wall with this. Sorry this chapter took so long, it wasn't suppose to. Also, thanks for all the wonderful reviews. :) Just in case you might think you've been gypped, the word count is officially 9,600. Also, THANK YOU to Sam. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You went through 27 typed pages and STILL managed to give me amazing words of encouragement, insight, and betterment. You make my writing more than I thought it could be. Thank you! ::hugs::

RECAP: Sean told Jay to basically go to hell and tried to reconnect with Emma more. Emma's been going up and down over Sean because she's conflicted concerning her feelings for him. The chapter ended with Emma offering support to a pregnant Manny while thinking over her feelings for Sean.

_"I am flawed_

_But I am cleaning up so_

_I am seeing in me now_

_The things you swore_

_you saw yourself."_

_- Dashboard Confessional_

xXx

Sean was getting really tired of being ping-ponged around every which way. All depending on Emma's mood or frame of mind he was either a doormat or an actual human being to her. To say she was slowly driving him crazy was an understatement.

It was the end of school and Sean had only seen Emma a few times since lunch. Each time she had been by Manny's side, the supportive best friend again. Sean couldn't help but feel bitter that whether his day was crappy or not all rested on the whims of one bouncy blonde.

One very vengeful and stubborn blonde.

Yet for some reason he still found himself waiting around Emma's locker for her to show. When fifteen minutes passed he realized she probably wasn't coming to her locker and he dejected headed out of the school and toward home. What he really wanted to do was crash on his couch and mindlessly watch some television.

Luck wasn't on his side for much of anything, though. He was halfway home when he realized he was suppose to be working on a project with Liberty. Sean stopped, let it sink in, and then turned around and headed back toward the school.

Nearly a half an hour late Sean rushed into the library, sliding into a seat at the table Liberty was stationed at. He had to stifle a groan as he noticed there were even more books than the time before. "Let's get going."

Liberty almost seemed like she wanted to look at him disapprovingly, but instead she smiled. "You're late. Living on the edge. That's rad."

Sean hadn't thought Liberty had grown a second head, but he couldn't help checking. He finally noticed Liberty was wearing an usually large amount of black clothing and that she had her hair pulled into a ponytail on the side. He also could have sworn she was wearing lipstick, which was enough to make him think he was seeing things. "What are you wearing? Did something happen to you?"

"I finally decided to release the inner me. I'm tired of these clowns. People like you and me, we have to live fast. Party hard."

Sean laughed softly. "People like you and me? Liberty, the only thing I thought we both had in common was thinking it sucked that we were paired on the project. Anything beyond that is a delusion of your mind."

"You're wrong, Cameron. I'm bad. You and me are meant to be!"

Sean decided right then and there that he'd have to be brutally blunt. "Liberty, I am not and I will _never_ be interested in you."

Liberty's face fell, her shoulders sinking in defeat. "Right. Cause the idea of me fitting with any guy it completely out of the realm of possibility."

Sean shook his head, feeling a tinge of sympathy. Liberty could be a pain, but she wasn't a bad person. "That's not what I meant. You just need to stop... trying to get the guy that just isn't interested. Look, don't try so hard. Be yourself."

"So, just be myself?" Liberty said it as though she was trying to get the full feel of those words.

"Right. I mean... If people don't like you then screw them. If they like some made-up loser, then doesn't that suck more?" Sean shrugged. "Or something."

Liberty nodded her head, seeming to be making up her mind about something.

"Emma was here earlier with Chris," she finally said. "If you weren't busy being a juvenile delinquent you would have caught her for yourself."

Sean scoffed. "Are you trying to rub it in?"

"No," Liberty said sincerely. "I'm trying to tell you that her bag is sitting over there in that corner."

"What?" Sean's head turned slowly to look at the corner of the room Liberty was pointing towards and saw for himself that her book bag was laying on one of the tables. Sean turned back to Liberty and raised his eyebrows. "So?"

"Do I need to spell it out for you?" Liberty rolled her eyes. "She left it here. Maybe someone, _after_ they finish working on their project, should bring it to her."

Sean suddenly saw Liberty in a new light. "You're alright, Van Zandt."

xXx

There had been a time when having a pair of Emma's friends over, like Manny and JT, would be almost routine for any afternoon. Now, it had been months since more than one of Emma's friends had been over and a long time passed since those lazy afternoon's of television and pizza.

There was pizza now, but the carefree nature of those afternoons was absent. Even as they maintained a jovial atmosphere the reason Craig and Manny were there was much more serious.

Manny and Craig stood over a cooing Jack, both smiling.

"He's so gorgeous," Craig whispered in wonder, as he leaned in closer to Jack.

"Yeah, he's like an angel," Manny agreed, smiling.

Emma smiled at the two, heading to the bookshelf and grabbing the 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' book before heading over to Manny. "Look, this is baby Maude right now. So tiny, huh?"

Manny tried to smile, saying lightly, "Don't call 'em that."

Craig looked up from baby Jack to the front of the book where a woman late in the stages of pregnancy was shown. "I can't believe you're going to get that huge."

Manny took the book out of Emma's hand and closed it so she could see the front, making a face that displayed she couldn't believe she was going to get that huge either.

Emma went to say something else but was cut off by the doorbell. She took the book back out of Manny's hands and laid it on the table. As she began to head to the front door Jack began to cry. It was a loud piercing sound that had both Manny and Craig looking at the baby as though it was a space alien that had come to take over the planet.

Emma moved over to Jack, grabbing the powder off of the table. "I'm thinking he probably needs to be changed."

"Well, you go answer the door. Me and Manny can handle this," Craig volunteered, smiling enthusiastically.

Manny didn't look so sure as she nodded in agreement with Craig.

"Are you really sure?" Emma asked, not wanting to leave Jack in inadequate care for even a minute. _This_ was the brother that cemented the nuclear family she never believed she would have.

"Babies aren't exactly rocket science," Craig proclaimed, laughing as he looked down at the crying baby Jack.

"Well, then, you handle the little piece of cake..._Dad_," Emma suggested, handing him the baby powder. Emma then headed out of the kitchen and towards the door, grabbing the baby monitor on the way.

When she swung open the door she wasn't sure why she was so surprised to find Sean on the other side. It was becoming commonplace to have him show up at her house looking for something to fix.

"Sean," Emma said, rolling her eyes. "Look, we're like out of broken appliances and furniture. And considering my mom's not home, you're not getting inside my house."

Sean sighed. "I'm not here to fix anything."

"So, what are you doing here? I'm busy. And _we _don't hang out."

Sean ignored the last part. "Babysitting?"

Just then noise filtered in over the intercom and Emma brought it up to her ear.

_"Eww! I'm not touching that!"_

_"You have to wipe it!"_

_"But, i-it's green!"_

Sean's eyebrows shot up. "What the hell is that?"

Emma smiled genuinely, causing Sean's stomach to do a flip-flop. "Parents in training."

"Manny and Craig?" Sean guessed.

"Yup. They're inside changing baby Jack."

Sean laughed slightly, backing away a step as noise continued to filter out from the monitor. "Oh, loads of fun." Sean held up a black backpack, one that Emma instantly recognized as her own. "Found this in the library. Figured you might need it or something."

"My backpack! I didn't even notice I had left it." Emma smiled happily, taking it out of his hand. She hesitated a second, then finally said, "Sean... thanks."

Sean shrugged. "Whatever. No biggie."

Emma began to say something but was interrupted by the blare of the car horn as her mother pulled into the driveway.

Sean nodded as he began to head away from her. "I'll see you in school, Em."

"Yeah. I'll see you in school."

Sean stopped as Spike came out of the car to stand near Emma and Sean, smiling happily.

"Hey, Sean! " Spike looked around then frowned. "Emma, where's Jack?"

"With Manny and Craig," Emma answered simply.

Spike raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything as she continued on her way inside. She stopped at the door and turned around to give a smile toward Sean. "Why don't you come in, Sean? I'm sure Emma would love to have you! Wouldn't you Emma?"

Emma eyes went wide in disbelief. _I know my mother isn't that dense_, she thought in annoyance. She tried to signal her mother with her eyes but Spike simply kept smiling.

Finally, through clenched teeth Emma said, "Yes, that would be great!" Emma headed toward the door, past her mother and Sean. Underneath her breath she mumbled, "Cause I just love it when my ex-boyfriend once again comes into my house, eats my food, drives me up a wall, and makes nice with my family. It is always the highlight of my long, miserable day."

xXx

Manny and Craig headed home, baby powder smeared and defeated, not long after Spike came in from outside and found them looking in puzzlement at the naked bottomed Jack. A diaper was clutched in Craig's hand and a pile of other rumpled ones sat on the counter beside Jack.

After they had left, Spike had commented to Sean and Emma about the difficult road the two had for them in having the child. She had then looked at Emma and began talking about how it had been worth it to her, causing Emma's face to turn an unflattering shade of pink.

"I'd say it was worth it, too," Sean had thrown in off the collar, looking at Emma meaningfully with a half grin.

Emma's mother, the traitor, had laughed at Sean and smiled adoringly. _It's that damn smile_, Emma had thought with conviction. _It's, like, voodoo or something. It even makes old people like my mother gaga. _

It was getting closer to dinner by that time and Spike had begun to look at the clock every few minutes, even though she tried to conceal it.

"Mom, you can go see Snake in the hospital. I know you want to," Emma had finally said.

"You'd have to watch baby Jack and that wouldn't be fair to you, Em. I'm sure you have some schoolwork you have to get to."

"Yeah," Emma agreed slightly. "But Jack is sleeping right now and Snake needs all the support he can get. Go. Snake's more important," Emma finished decisively.

That's when Sean had jumped in with, "I can help her, Mrs. Nelson. She can get schoolwork done that way."

"Oh, Sean! That's so sweet!" her mother had gushed.

Emma had rolled her eyes, figuring her mother was five seconds away from pinching Sean's cheeks and going, _"Aww, you're so cute."_

Sean didn't say anything, merely shrugged. He felt uncomfortable being lavished with compliments from Mrs. Nelson, considering what he did. He glanced at Emma to see she was less than pleased about the situation, but he also knew she wouldn't say anything. If nothing else, Emma could be very self-sacrificing when there was the need.

Within five minutes Spike was out the door and heading to the hospital, leaving the former couple alone in the house with a sleeping Jack.

xXx

Emma trudged into the kitchen early the next morning, mumbling out a good morning to her mother. Emma pulled out a seat at the kitchen table and sat down, rubbing a hand over the bags in her eyes. Would she ever sleep a full night again?

Spike smiled at her from across the table, pouring Emma a glass of orange juice. "Good morning, sweetheart."

Emma grunted at her mother's perky demeanor, nodding a thanks for the orange juice.

"I meant to ask you last night. How did babysitting Jack go? Was Sean a big help?"

"It was fine," Emma said, not inviting further conversation on the topic. Instead her mind lapsed into thought.

The previous night had been surreal in many ways. The two of them had kept a careful amount of distance between them, despite Sean's attempts to reconcile that fact. Yet, there was no longer that thread of hostility between them. Or an underlying vibe that they were emotionally miles away from each other.

That very fact had kept Emma on the edge for the entire three hours her mother had been at the hospital with Snake. When Sean asked her a question, she would answer in a clipped tone. If he tried to start a conversation, she'd end it with a word or two. They had eventually ended up sitting on the couch watching television. Sleeping Jack was situated between them in his carrier, acting as some type of barrier.

Nearly an hour after Emma's mother had left she had gotten up to go to the bathroom, figuring there was no harm in leaving Sean with a sleeping Jack. She had been washing her hands in the bathroom when she heard the beginnings of baby crying. She had proceeded to hurry up, knowing Sean had to have been falling apart, but midway back to the living room the crying had stopped.

When she entered the living room Sean didn't even notice. He was still sitting on the couch but now Jack was cradled in his arms and his focus was on making silly faces she wouldn't have believed he even knew how to make in the first place. Jack was happily cooing at him, completely content. She wasn't sure how long she had stood there, watching him. The scene she had quietly intruded upon had stirred something deep inside of her. How could he really be so terrible when he could be so sweet?

A floor board must have creaked underneath her foot, though Emma couldn't be sure. But Sean suddenly stopped and turned to look up at her in the door way. Emma smiled warmly, unable to put aside the strange swirling of emotions she was feeling towards him.

Sean smiled back at her, a genuine smile that made Emma's heart leap.

The moment was spoiled a second later when a no longer content Jack let out a loud cry into the air. Emma walked over and picked Jack up, keeping her face carefully averted from Sean. When Jack had quieted down Sean had made good on his word, sitting there on the couch with him while Emma worked on her homework.

Emma's mind had replayed that moment of smile to smile over and over again like a broken record that night when she had tried to get to sleep. Now, sitting at the kitchen table Emma was increasingly becoming aware of one thing, and one thing only: she was heading straight towards getting her heart shattered into a million pieces again.

And that would never do.

xXx

As Sean got ready for school that morning, only a few blocks away from Emma's own home, he couldn't help but be in a good mood. Why wouldn't he be? After nearly two weeks of following Emma around and trying to get some where with her he felt like he was finally making progressive. All yesterday she might not have been Queen Sunshine to him, but she hadn't looked like she was plotting his death during her every waking moment anymore either.

_Emma is slowly coming around,_ he kept telling myself_. Soon she'll forgive me completely and we can get back to being Sean and Emma._

Sean knew that had to happen. He had his heart set on it.

xXx

Emma was enjoying perhaps her first quiet lunch in weeks. Maybe it was because she had sequestered herself in the hallway in front of her locker, but either way she was thankful for the break from all the noise, clamor and drama of the lunchroom. There were no uproarious students around her busy gossiping or shooting her questioning glances. There were no well-meaning friends trying to figure out exactly what had been going on in her head recently.

More importantly, there was no Sean sending her puppy dog eyes from beneath the hood of his ski cap. Emma preferred it that way. When he was there, looking at her as though she was something more than she thought she could ever be, she couldn't think straight. Suddenly her stomach would be filled with butterflies and the entire world would tunnel until it centered on nothing but him. Until she wanted to do nothing but forgive him.

Yet, when she was away from him she could think clearly. She knew she didn't want to forgive him then. She knew that he was the scum of the earth and she would have to be a moron to take him back. She also didn't find herself lying to her principle and getting Saturday detentions.

Yes, it was much better this way.

"I was wondering where you were." Emma closed her eyes, looking up to find Sean's blue eyes looking down at her. "Camping out away from society, Emma?"

Emma outwardly groaned even as her betraying heart sped up as she peered into the pools of blue. Emma looked away quickly, fixing her gaze on the lockers across from her.

Sean walked around to her left and slid down till he was sitting next to her. Emma skittered away from him an inch, trying to put as much space as possible between her and the person that was putting her entire being into a tailspin.

"So, you ignored me during homeroom. You blew me off during every class we've had together. Now, more of the cold shoulder. I thought maybe..."

"You thought wrong, " Emma bit out, not looking up from her sandwich. Inside a part of her was screaming, _right, right, right_. She told that part to shut up.

Sean made no move to leave at her words, even though he looked hurt. Emma hated to admit it but she was beginning to admire his stubborn refusal. It was five more minutes until he spoke again.

"We used to do this a lot," Sean said softly. "You know, hangout here in the hallways during lunch. Just the two of us."

Emma couldn't help but think briefly of all those moments, ones where it had been just them in their own world. With resolve she slammed the mental door shut on the barrage of memories. "Yeah. _Use to _probably being the key words there."

"You know, I don't understand why you make it seem like it's an effort to be civil," Sean said, some of his frustration coming through in his voice.

"Maybe because it _is_ an effort to be civil towards you. Why? Is it an issue for you? Because if it is, you're more than welcome to just, oh I don't know, leave. "

"But I enjoy your company. You know, all of the loveliness that is our encounters together." Sean did an almost charming half grin. "You weren't so awful yesterday. Would it kill you to be halfway nice to me?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "You know, it just might."

"Lets skip out on what I did in the past. I screwed up. I admit it. But, I've been more than there recently."

"You're absolutely right. You've been completely there." Under her breath Emma mumbled, "All of these ten days."

"Okay." Sean chose to ignore the sarcastic tone and the mumbled words. "Then why is it such a hassle for you?"

Emma pushed her sandwich aside and turned to look at Sean head on. "Let me make a list for you of the wonderfulness you have brought into my life within a little over a week. You've cost me one potential boyfriend-"

"He was lame. Between you and me, I'd say you're better off."

Emma ignored him and continued as if he hadn't interrupted. "You got me a Saturday detention-"

"You did that all on your own." Sean responded flippantly. "Protecting me! Kind of sexy. Who knew you had a bad girl streak in you."

"And _now_ you're trying to drive me insane!" Emma finished.

"Why would I try to drive you insane when you're _so_ _much fun _sane."

Emma made a face. "Ha. Funny." Emma smiled deceptively. "How's working with Liberty? Did you kill her yet? Cause, I know it kills you to keep your temper for more than a second. "

"See. You're lots of fun."

"Sean," Emma started with a sigh, "is there a reason why you always sit with me at lunch? Couldn't you, like, sit with your loser wannabe gangster friends?"

Sean looked at her like she _was_ insane. "Did you miss the part where they cast me out?"

Emma shrugged, taking a bite of her sandwich. "Did you miss the part where I don't care?"

"Right. You don't care." Sean stood up, shaking his head. "Cause that's exactly what it looks like to me."

"Wow, you're actually starting to get the picture." Emma ignored the flash of hurt she saw pass across Sean face's before it clouded over with anger.

"You know what, Emma," Sean irately said, throwing up his hands. "Screw this."

Emma watched as Sean turned around and started walking away from her, ignoring the stab of sadness that hit her. _You want him gone, Emma. You want him gone_, she said to herself.

Sean was half a hallway away from her when he suddenly turned around and headed back her way. Emma felt something close to relief pass over her even as her face filled with annoyance.

Sean stopped in front of her, his eyes blazing with pent up emotion. Extending a hand out he waited until Emma confusedly put her own in his then yanked her up unceremoniously. He only held on long enough to make sure she had her balance, then he let go as though her flesh burned him.

"Sean, what---"

Sean held up a finger for her to stop, gritting his teeth. He didn't say anything, merely kept his now icy blue eyes on her brown ones. Just when she was sure he was merely going to stand there, his eyes bearing into her own, he finally started speaking.

"Just so we're both really clear here this whole following you around and bending over backwards to get you to even throw a friendly glance my way? It really isn't my thing. Maybe Sharpe doesn't mind being your pathetic puppy dog, but I do. So, before you go thinking I'm going to trail after your ass until you're good and ready to even think about giving me another chance, here's a newsflash: I'm not going to apologize forever. So stop frickin' expecting me to."

Emma sat there, her mouth hanging open, as Sean angrily walked down the hallway.

xXx

"Mom?" Emma said tentatively as she opened the door to her mother's room. There was no answer so Emma just walked in. Coming into the room she saw that her mother was seated on the bed with dozens of pictures strewn across the blanket. A reminiscent smile played at her lips and her eyes sparkled. Jack was laying in his crib, sleeping soundly.

Spike slowly moved her eyes from the photo she was holding to Emma. Spike laughed, holding up a picture from her wedding to Snake. "That was a good day."

Emma gave a weak smile, nodding as her own memories swarmed around her. "Yeah, it was."

Spike looked more closely at her daughter, a frown beginning to form. "Em, is there something wrong?"

Emma walked over to the bed and carefully sat down on the edge, making sure not to sit on any of the pictures. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"I'm fine, Emma. I don't need you worrying about me."

"When are you going to see Snake?"

"Later tonight."

Emma's breathing became erratic as a picture caught her eye. It was one of her and Sean dancing together, sometime after their kiss. She hadn't even been aware someone had taken pictures of them at the wedding. Slowly she picked up the picture, holding it in her hands.

"Something you want to talk about, Em?"

Emma shrugged, suddenly putting the picture down as though it had been burning her hands. "Its not important."

"I think it must be."

"Lay in the bed you make, right?"

"Huh?"

"Nothing, "Emma said, then changed her mind. "Why are you always inviting him in?"

Confusion passed over Spike's face. "Who?"

"The jolly green giant," Emma sarcastically replied. "Sean!"

"I like Sean. He's had it hard but he's a good kid. And, he obviously cares very much for you."

"Mom, that good kid is a convict in training, okay. He does whatever he wants whenever he wants. He's like a complete delinquent. Give him a 'Hell's Angel' tattoo and his transformation to big jerk would be complete."

"You didn't always think he was so bad."

"Hello! I'm a stupid, fifteen year old girl."

"Emma... You're not stupid. You're very smart. Too smart, sometimes."

"Huh?"

"You're always trying to listen to your head when you should be trying to listen to your heart."

"I can't believe this! My Mom, _my_ Mom, is on my ex-boyfriend's side."

"I'm on your side, Em. Always. But, I'm the last person that should condemn someone for the..." her mother searched for the correct word, "irresponsible choices that they make. Especially when they try and make amends or put things right. People deserve a chance. Sometimes, you just need to run on blind faith."

"And you think...that he's a good guy?"

"I think that he wants to be a good guy more than he wants to be a bad guy."

Emma stood up and went to go but stopped, looking at her mom. Then compulsively she grabbed her mom in a hug.

Spike was at first surprised but then returned the hug just as forcefully. She jokingly said, "What do you want?"

Emma just held her a little tighter. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too."

The sound of the doorbell rang through the house, shattering the moment.

Emma pulled away and put a kiss on her mother's cheek before heading out the room to go downstairs and answer the door. When she swung open the door she wasn't surprised to find Manny staring back at her. What did surprise her was the look of relief on Manny's face.

"Manny."

"Emma. Hey. Is your Mom here?"

"Yeah. She's heading off to see Snake in a bit but..."

"Can I..." Emma stepped out of the way, letting Manny brush past her.

Emma shut the door and followed Manny into the living room. Walking in she found Manny sitting on the couch, her entire posture displaying her relief.

"Good news?" Emma asked, settling herself on the chair across from Manny.

"Like the best. I told my mom and she didn't freak out like I thought she would." Manny smiled off distantly, remembering something fondly. "She was actually pretty cool."

"What a huge relief!"

"Yeah, I didn't think I could do it. But then it was just like out there. And you know what, she's even driving me."

Emma felt the air still and a chill go up her back, though she couldn't have said why. "Driving you where?" she said slowly, not sure whether she wanted the answer.

"To the clinic. I'm getting an abortion."

Emma stood up, not quite believing what she was hearing. "Manny, you can't. You can't get an abortion!"

Manny shook her head, also standing up. "Look, I know you think its wrong. I'm just trying... trying to do what's right for everyone. For myself."

Emma turned away in disgust, walking out of the living room with Manny trailing behind her. She found herself in the kitchen, standing in front of the sink. She leaned her palms against the cool silver and closed her eyes, trying to process what Manny was saying to her.

"Emma, please... You have to understand," Manny begged, coming to stand beside Emma.

Emma turned to her with eyes blazing. "Understand?" Emma shook her head, backing away a step. How could she understand? If her Mom had gotten an abortion... "My Mom will be down in a minute."

A few days ago, Emma and Manny were slowly working their way to a solid friendship again. Emma had believed they could work out their differences and move past everything. As Emma moved past Manny, Emma couldn't stop thinking of how very wrong she had been.

xXx

Sean didn't like much about home most of the time. It was either trashed, empty, or bustling with Tracker's lame friends. Mostly he just put up with it because it was better than being in Wasaga Beach with his drunken parents. But sometimes, he didn't mind it so much. Especially at times when he could sit outside with his brother and actually feel like he had some form of family that cared.

Tracker shoveled in some spaghetti and swallowed it before saying to Sean, "The girl with the big mouth, you've been spending a lot of time at her place. So, you two back together again or what?"

"Or what," Sean responded nonchalantly, making a show at staying focused on his plate. "I've been fixing some things around the house."

"Playing handyman, little brother?" Sean didn't need to look up to see the smirk on his brother's face.

Sean bristled defensively. "Her stepdad's sick and her mom needs---"

"Whoa!" Tracker held his hand up, pointing the fork in Sean's direction. "I didn't say it was a bad thing. That snarky little red head was a bitch. Leading you down a jagged road, and it wasn't by your head. But that blonde...she always was good for you."

Sean scoffed. "Maybe you should tell that to her." A voice said, _I thought you already went over this? You don't tell Emma anything._

"Oh, so that's how it is, huh?" Tracker laughed in amusement. "Some things never change. You're chasing after the little do-gooder again and she's giving you the cold shoulder?"

"It's not funny," Sean said in frustration. Then he stubbornly added, "And I'm not chasing after her anymore."

"Why's that?"

"She pissed me off, okay? Can we just leave it at that? She always finds some way to piss me off...It's like on her list of hobbies. Save a tree, lobby for animal rights... Piss off Sean."

"Yeah, so the blonde pisses you off. What's new?" Tracker shrugged. "You'll get over it. Like always."

"No. No. Look, she thinks I'm just going to keep following her around, fixing her parents' shit."

"Hey! Watch your mouth," Tracker said in his best parent voice, which wasn't saying much.

If Sean hadn't been busy being angry at Emma, he might have laughed at Tracker's attempt at being a parent. "Whatever. I'm done."

"So, you're done with the chick?"

"Yes! Were you listening? And you know, Tracker, she does have a name." Sean sighed. "It's Emma."

"I know she has a name." Tracker looked at his brother knowingly, understanding something Sean seemed to be missing. Then, he shook his head and laughed. "_It's Emma_," he mocked.

"Funny." Sean pushed Tracker's shoulder as he stood up, heading back inside.

As the door swung closed behind him he grunted in frustration. When he got into the kitchen, he put his plate in the sink. Barely above a whisper, he said to himself, "It's Emma."

Then, he slammed his fist into the wall.

xXx

The next morning in homeroom Sean sat in a seat on the other side of the room from where Emma was, even though there was an empty seat beside her. Usually when he wasn't sitting beside her he was throwing glances her way, but he didn't turn around once.

This time it was Emma who didn't take her eyes off of him, taking the time to notice all the miniscule details she hadn't been aware of before. Emma smiled a bit at the way he couldn't seem to fully sit still. He kept shifting in his seat every few minutes and his foot constantly seemed to be tapping against the floor.

_Maybe he isn't so unaffected. Not that I want him to be affected or something,_ Emma thought to herself

Sean's pencil rolled off the desk, clicking on the floor. As he reached his hand down to pick it up Emma just barely stifled a gasp. His hand was bruised in spots with jagged cuts on the knuckles, one small slip of cloth wrapped around the middle of his palm. Small blotches of red bled through the white cloth.

For the duration of homeroom Emma didn't take her eyes off of him, waiting for the barest glance of his battered hand. She started concocting in her head the strangest reasons why his hand could appear the way it did, her mind flooding with possibilities. Even worse, though, was the part of her that wanted to go over and make sure it was bandaged correctly. The piece of her that wanted to kiss and make it better.

When homeroom concluded at the sound of the bell Sean raced out of the room, leaving Emma following behind him. She saw him through a pile of students in the hall and pushed her way through the crowd. She finally caught up to him, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around to face her.

Sean sighed loudly, the side of his mouth twitching. "What?"

Emma nearly flinched at his tone but stood her ground. Gesturing towards his hand she asked, "What happened?"

Sean shot an icy glare at someone who shoved past him before shrugging. "Like you care, right?"

Emma nearly said something sarcastic, something _mean_, but bit her tongue. She wasn't even sure why but she found herself saying, "You know I do."

Sean's face relaxed noticeably as her words sunk in, the lines around his mouth and eyes becoming less rigid. His voice was softer than it had been before, even if the words were still biting. "Trust me, you wouldn't approve."

"Did it have something to do with Jay? Are you---"

"No!" The hard tone was back, stronger than ever. The pupils of his eyes darted wildly. "Why is it you're always the first to think the worst about me?"

"Maybe because I used to always be the first and the last person to give you the benefit of the doubt," Emma said without thinking.

Her quiet words seemed to drain the anger out of Sean as quickly as it had come. The hallway had nearly emptied now but they didn't notice. The words hung in the air between them but neither made a move to start heading to their first class. They just stood there staring at each other.

Emma knew she should have just turned away and left, onto her next class and away from him. Instead she reached out her own hand and touched his injured one gently. "What happened, Sean?"

"What always happens, right?" Sean said self-effacingly. "I lost control. Put my fist through a wall."

Emma eyes went wide in disbelief. "You put your fist through a wall? Like, an actual wall?"

Sean made a face, embarrassed. "Well, no. I tried. But, I think the wall won."

"Oh," Emma said, dumbfounded. "Why?"

Sean shrugged, but his eyes betrayed him. They seemed to scream at Emma, _Why do you think_?

Emma felt a sudden wave of feeling for him, so hard and so deep it nearly physically shook her body. She compulsively rubbed her fingers softly across one of his knuckles.

Sean jumped back, pulling his hand away. "You can't keep doing this," he whispered out gruffly, backing up from her more.

Emma was confused. How was she doing anything to _him_? He was the one following her around and driving her up a wall till she didn't which way was up or down. "Doing what? What am I doing?"

"_This!_" Sean said vehemently, his eyes tormented. "I have feelings, you know! You can't just keep screwing with them!"

"I'm not---"

"I know it's not on purpose," Sean said more evenly, "but it's still not fair!" The bell rang and Sean's shoulders sagged, showing his internal defeat. As he began walking past her he said, "I'm late. I gotta go."

Emma turned and watched him walked away. "Sean?" Sean stopped but didn't turn around. "I'm sorry. For like, you know..."

Sean turned to look at her over his shoulder, a ghost of a smile flittering across his lips. He nearly cursed himself for being so easily undone. "You're sorry?"

Emma shrugged and began walking toward him. "We have to get to class. We're both completely late."

Sean's eyes were locked on her as she came up to stand beside him, giving him a simple smile. "Yeah."

The two walked to class, side by side.

xXx

It was after school and Sean Cameron had many things on his mind. Namely, the many bipolar shades of Emma and what exactly it meant for him. The only thing he wanted to do was head home and think everything over. The last thing Sean wanted to do was run into a blazing confrontation, but turning the corner he ran headlong into whatever was going on between Craig and Manny. Suddenly Emma dashed in seemingly out of nowhere, standing in between Craig and Manny.

"Craig!" she said forcefully.

Craig's face twisted up and he shook his hand at Emma. "You-You butt out!" Craig turned back to Manny, pain written very clearly across his face. "What she's doing is wrong!"

"I agree with you, okay! If she was just some stranger I would be furious with her.

But she's my friend." The last words came out stilted but strong. "And it's her choice."

Sean wasn't the only one who had been surprised when he had heard the words come out of her mouth. Manny looked like her eyes would fall out of her head.

"But it's my baby!" Craig whispered, anguished.

"And Manny's body. What about her?" Emma argued back.

"I just...I can't," Manny said, her eyes tortured. As Craig walked away, shattered, Manny turned to Emma, broken but grateful. "T-Thank you."

Emma didn't look at Sean or Manny. Instead she walked right past, heading down the hall with a dazed expression on her face.

xXx

Sean rushed out after her, finally catching up to her outside of the school. She had looked so lost and forlorn when she had walked away that it had nearly stung him. Emma was strong and confident. She wasn't easily shaken or cut down.

"Emma!"

Emma kept on walking, her back ramrod straight. Sean wasn't even sure if she had heard him.

"Emma!" Sean said more forcefully, loudly.

Emma finally stopped , turning around. "What? What do you want?"

"Are you okay?"

His words had a transformative effect on Emma. They were genuine and softly spoken. Sean actually cared and it was written all over his face as he gazed at her. It touched her, reaching inside of her and draining away her surface defenses momentarily.

"Okay?" she asked carefully.

"Yeah." Sean touched her shoulder gently, his thumb moving in small circles. "Are you, Em? You looked a bit dazed back there."

Emma sat down on the bench slowly, as if the movement took effort. Sean moved to sit besides her, letting his backpack drop to the ground carelessly. A couple seconds later words, unstoppable ones, began to pour out of Emma. "My Mom had me when she was Manny's age, you know? I don't know if she thought twice about it. I...don't think I really want to know. All that matters is...She chose me." Emma smiled in the way one only can when they've stumbled upon some perception altering realization. "I'm not sure I ever really understood that until recently."

Sean didn't know what to say so he instead opted to remain silent, instead allowing his hand to softly rest on top of Emma's own. It was the only comfort he could give, would be allowed to give, and Emma accepted it. She didn't mind the quiet, liking the hum of the outside as she sat next to him. His presence was enough. Some how it made her feel safe and secure, just that small gesture of his hand on her own.

_This feels right,_ she thought suddenly as her thoughts of everything else washed away.

Emma pulled her hand from under his and stood up, hating where her thoughts seemed to always be leading her. "I'm heading home." She shook her head, seemingly to herself. "I'll...Yeah."

"I'll see you tomorrow at detention," Sean mumbled to himself, his eyes unreadable.

Emma began to walk away, her thoughts all circling back to her. She was bombarded with thoughts of Manny, her Mom, and then inevitably Snake. Emma felt a small chill go through her.

Emma stopped walking, turning around. Just as suddenly as the need to be alone had come, she wasn't quiet ready to be alone with her thoughts. "Sean?"

"Yeah?"

_This is wrong,_ the thought bled through the new noise in her mind. Emma knew it. She was aware that her life was such a mess, she was such a mess, that she allowed herself to bounce Sean up and down like a yo-yo. There was so much going on that she was treating Sean the way she was treating everything else...

Moment to moment. That was all she had to offer.

He looked at her full of subdued hope. He was there with her, in that span of time. Whatever she had to offer him, whatever she was willing to give, he was game.

Emma gave him a small smile, allowing herself this one thing. Letting her heart speak to her. "Walk me home."

Sean nodded his head. "I can do that."

As they walked Emma had to smile at the way Sean moved so that Emma was tucked on the inside of the sidewalk. He kept a careful, respectful distance from her that was in contrast to just a few months earlier. She remembered the feel of her palm gently nestled inside his and the way it felt to have his shoulder brush against hers as they walked.

They had been together then, now they were struggling. Fighting against, for, and with each other to the point where they were both lost and confused. The only difference being that Sean was willing to try again, Emma was too afraid to.

Halfway to her house Emma resolutely closed the door on the negative thoughts. They could come again later, when he was gone and she was alone with nothing but the past to hold her in its grip.

Yes, she would have this moment and this small piece of him for herself. She wouldn't allow herself him. There was too much risk and too little guarantee there. But she would take this and keep it with her. She reached between them and took his hand in her own, entwining there fingers together. Sean jumped in surprise but then responded back, his hand giving her own a light squeeze. As they walked Emma felt the long abandoned, but familiar, brush of his shoulder against hers and she smiled.

When they reached Emma's house, fear seemed to have worked it's way into her eyes. One moment, one small piece of him. She had allowed herself that but she couldn't allow herself anymore. "Sean?"

"Yeah?"

"This has to stop," she said resolutely, her gaze nearly unreadable. Her smaller hand gently pulled away from his own, dropping by her side to hang there stiffly.

"What?" Sean wasn't sure what she meant, but his heart had a pretty good idea because it slammed to a stop. "Emma..."

"You following me around, trying to get me to forgive you. To take you back. To like, be something we can't be." Her eyes were sorry, letting him know she was regretful. That she wanted one moment to last forever, that she wished her mind could ultimately lose the war with her heart. Her mind was more powerful, though. It remembered the bad with the good, it was more sensible Emma reasoned.

Biting her lip, Emma continued. "I'm leading you on because I'm really confused. Because I want something I can't have. Not anymore. I'm sorry if I hurt you, Sean."

Sean's eyes looked disbelieving. "Em---"

"But I can't get hurt again, Sean! I can't! I _won't_." Emma sounded nearly desperate.

"I'm not going to hurt you!" Sean's eyes pleaded with her to believe him, to trust in him.

Emma stood there, the amount of time that passed by getting lost to her. She wanted to believe him. Almost more than anything in the world she wanted to believe him. But too much stood between them. Too much said or unsaid, and it couldn't be taken back. Even worse, more than she wanted to believe him she knew she didn't ever want to feel the way she had months ago when he had broken her heart.

There it was, the grand finale of her internal war. Final result: Mind.

Emma gritted her teeth to keep the tears threatening to spill at bay. She walked passed him toward her door. Before slipping inside she said, so softly he almost couldn't hear her, "All you've ever done is hurt me."

xXx

Sean took a drink of his soda, momentarily thinking about how flat the taste was. About how he was pretty sure the taste had nothing to do with the soda.

_Nice Cameron,_ Sean thought derisively_. Go ahead and feel sorry for yourself..._

The metal of the bench Sean was sitting on was cold against his back, but Sean liked the feel of it. The shudders it caused, the physical discomfort it brought him, was strangely consoling when held up against him mental discomfort.

The street itself, a small and mostly abandoned road that veered off the one he lived on, was quiet for the most part, too. With all the time that left for uninterrupted thought Sean wasn't sure whether this was good or bad.

_All you've ever done is hurt me...._

The words kept slamming into Sean's head, a torturous litany brought on by his own insecurity. Maybe she was right. Perhaps all he ever had done was hurt her, in so many different ways. That could just be what he would end up doing again.

History repeats itself, right?

Sean would rather lose her permanently than risk putting her through more pain. He had been responsible for enough of her tears, he didn't want to be responsible for any more of it. It might be best for him to just walk away, for her sake.

"Deep thoughts?" he heard a voice say.

He turned up to see Craig, his face ashen and a look of internal sickness playing across his face. Craig had said the words flippantly but his entire body spoke volumes of his true feelings.

_I can't blame him for being a mess,_ Sean thought Out loud he said, "You stalkin' me?"

"Tracker said I could find you here," Craig said dully, sitting down on the bench next to Sean. He jumped up a bit as he felt the cold steel but then sighed deeply and sat back, a frown on his face.

"You okay?" Sean asked tepidly after a beat.

Craig considered the question. "Define okay."

"You gonna go jumping in front of any trains tonight?" Sean responded, drawing back on that long ago instance.

"I'll try to resist the urge." Then Craig added, "No promises, though."

"You're not really gonna get all suicidal on me, are you?" Sean asked, jokingly.

Maybe others would pity and baby Craig right now, offering him up words of comfort. But Sean knew better than them. Craig didn't need to be babied or told everything would be okay. Sean and Craig both knew that life didn't automatically work that way. It was screwy and if you got caught in the crossfire, you'd end up with a burned hand.

"Nah, man. I'm not going to get 'all suicidal' on you," Craig said.

"Life bites," Sean mumbled, pulling his ski cap off as he did and putting it down on the bench.

"I think... That's an understatement."

Sean nodded in agreement.

The two didn't have much more to say to each other after that. They didn't have much to say to begin with, too many scars sealing them up from the inside out. But they stayed for hours there on that bench, not minding the cold or the stiff feel of the metal bench beneath them.

Their thoughts stayed hidden from the other, locked away in their own minds. They didn't need someone to listen and tell them everything was going to be okay. They needed someone to be there, to understand.

In the cold breeze of that late afternoon, they offered each other silent understanding and support.

xXx

Emma rolled over again, flopping the blanket around and rearranging her pillow with a frustrated groan. Squinting through the dark she saw the bright red letters on her clock read 2:48.

_"I have shop." _

_There was a deep, sharp pain that she tried to shrug off but something must have shown on her face. _

_"Emma---"_

_Emma closed off her emotions. "No. It's fine. Whatever."_

Emma tried to stem the flow of the memory and sat up, bringing her pillow with her as she did and throwing it across the room. She heard it bang as it landed on top of her dresser, sending some of her things tumbling backward.

The house fell back into the overwhelming hush it had been consumed in minutes before as everything on her dresser settled. The black of the lightless room created a sort of stage for her memories, once again causing her to fall back to the thoughts that had been keeping her sleepless all night. Back to the memory of another sleepless night.

_Emma sat on her bed, resting for what felt like the first time that day. So much has happened, she had thought. She was so tired and yet she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. And she wished, just wished, that there was someone she could talk to._

_Just then the phone rang and Emma jumped, her eyes going wide. She picked it up, "Hello?"_

_"Emma," she heard a slightly muffled voice say. _

_Emma nearly smiled. "Sean."_

_"I just wanted to...you know. For earlier." Apologizing did not come easy to Sean Cameron. "I should have gone with you. I've thought about it a lot and I should have been there." _

_Emma didn't say anything and a minute later Sean sighed. _

_"I'll call you later."_

_Just when she was sure he was going to put down the phone she forced herself to speak. "Sean?"_

_"Yeah?" He sounded both relieved and anxious._

_Emma tried but she couldn't get another word out past the lump in her throat. Emma had believed she couldn't cry anymore. That the vast down pouring of tears was used up. She was wrong. The next sentence was jumbled and muffled. "I...and he...and my mom...s-she lied...it is...so messed up...and I..."_

_"Whoa! Emma, slow down. I don't understand what you're..."_

_"I-I.." Emma bit her lip, hating how pathetic she was being. "I-I have to go." She didn't wait for his response, simply slammed the phone down on the receiver. With a shaky breath she laid down on her bed. The room seemed colder and she curled into a ball, crying into her pillow._

_She was so wrapped up in her own world she didn't hear the basement window open or the footsteps as someone approached her bed. But she jumped when she felt the dipping of the weight on her bed. Emma's head shot up, coming straight into contact with the shrouded face of her boyfriend._

_"Sean?"_

_Sean looked a little embarrassed. "You sounded really upset. I just figured I should come over. Save you from a meltdown or something." His words sounded casual but his eyes flashed genuine concern for her._

_Emma moved to the end of the bed where he was, slipping in next to him. She watched the floor, how her legs dangled off the end. How much smaller they looked next to his own. _

_Sensing her need to not be completely suffocated at that moment Sean forewent taking her into his arms, instead reaching out a hand to hold her smaller one in his. _

_"Emma..."Her name was something between a sigh and a revered prayer. He leaned his forehead against her for a second before pulling back. Emma shook her head slightly and then moved forward again, brushing her lips against his own. Sean gave into one more kiss before pulling away and turning his face to the side._

_Emma was confused. "What? Sean!"_

_"I don't think this is a good idea. Not tonight."_

_"Nice. For once I want to make out, but you aren't thinking about it."_

_"I'm thinking about you."_

_Emma nearly smiled as Sean looked like he would choke on his already spoken words. She reached out, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek before resting her head on his shoulder. His arm came up to wrap around her as the tears began to fall again._

_He stayed until there were no more tears. _

Looking back, Emma wasn't sure she would have gotten through that night without him. Emma laughed to herself. That had been one of the few times she was glad her boyfriend was a bit of a juvenile delinquent. Emma frowned. Well, at _that_ time he had been a bit of a juvenile delinquent. Now he was a full on criminal in the making.

A sweet, supportive criminal in the making who had walked over to her house in the middle of the night to help her work through her massive breakdown.

Emma sat there for another couple of minutes, her thoughts resting of Sean.

_This sucks,_ Emma thought as she threw her blanket off of her. She shivered a little as her toes touched the cold basement floor, pulling on her pink slippers to help keep her feet warm.

She moved across her the floor of her room toward her closest, heavy thoughts and the stir of yesterday filtering through her mind. With slightly shaking hands she opened her closest door and pulled out a heavy gray shoebox that was worn around the edges from the top shelf.

She sat down at the foot of her closest, her legs sprawled out and the shoebox between them. She stared down the shoebox for close to fifteen minutes, time mingling together and flying by in those late hours of the night. Finally, she lifted the top off and found a world she had left behind.

Movie ticket stubs and dance tickets littered the top layer in a blanket, a large homemade birthday card peaking out from underneath. Emma pulled out the birthday card, shaking off the tickets on top. She trailed her fingers across the lettering on top that read, "Happy Birthday, Em" in dark colored marker. Painstakingly, and poorly, drawn decorations filled the corners.

_It was only because he couldn't buy an actual card,_ Emma reasoned. With a sigh she carefully opened the card to find what she knew would be inside. Two innocent and smiling figures, a ridiculous amount of space apart, peered back at her from a Polaroid. Sean and her.

The birthday card fell back into the shoebox, discarded, as Emma pushed it away with the back of her foot. She held the picture in her hands, a snapshot of naivety. Everything had seemed simple then. Not like now, with the entire world turned upside down and going mad.

_Had I ever been that girl?,_ Emma thought, then laughed at a second thought._ Had Sean even been that boy?_

Emma stood up off the floor, the picture still clutched in her hand. She moved over to her dresser and picked up her pillow before moving back toward her bed. Crawling into her bed she left the covers off and curled into a ball. She rested the picture onto her pillow beside her head and finally drifted off into sleep with one thought flickering in her mind.

_Maybe he didn't always hurt me. Sometimes, he actually took the hurt away._

Emma sighed loudly in her quiet bedroom, realizing that the war between her head and her heart was far from over.

xXx


End file.
